teacher going to mad

เนื้อเรื่อง

TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That\'s impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn\'t, Teacher. I\'m eight today.
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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY             : No, I\'m Billy Anderson.
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TEACHER: Didn\'t you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn\'t I promise to punish you if you didn\'t?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don\'t expect you to   keep yours.
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY  : Well, I\'m a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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HAROLD  : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn\'t do?
TEACHER : Of course not.
HAROLD  : Good, because I didn\'t do my homework.
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TEACHER: I hope I didn\'t see you looking at Don\'s paper.
JOHN   : I hope you didn\'t either.
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GARY   : I don\'t think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it\'s the lowest mark I can give you.
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MOTHER : Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR : Because of absence.
MOTHER : You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR : No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
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SILVIA  : Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER  : I think so. What do you want me  to write?
SYLVIA  : Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER: Well, at least there\'s one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER : What\'s that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn\'t be cheating.
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TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY  : You can\'t fool me, Teacher... snakes don\'t have feet.
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HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE           : Don\'t bite any.
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with \"I\".
ELLEN  : I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, \"I am.\"
ELLEN  : All right... \"I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.\"
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TEACHER: Max, use \"defeat,\" \"defense,\" and \"detail\" in a sentence.
MAX    : The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense  before detail.
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MOTHER : Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR : You said it was my lunch money.
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TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
SASHA  : A new bike.
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TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for  another, how many dollars would you  have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER: (sadly)You don\'t know your arithmetic.
VINCENT: (sadly)You don\'t know my father

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TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other,  what would  I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

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BOY : Isn\'t the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY : No.
GIRL: I\'m the principal\'s daughter.
BOY : And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY : Thank goodness!