“Jin, I swear if you let out another sigh you won’t have lungs to breathe anymore” Koki, who had been trying to write the lyric for his new song but was interrupted by Jin’s loud sighs for the past 5 minutes, said with extremely annoyance in his voice.
They were in KAT-TUN room. There were only just 3 of them; Jin, sitting on the couch sighing and staring at his phone; Kame reading a magazine and ignoring the other two; and Koki, who had been trying so hard to block the sound Jin made to finish his song.
They were waiting for the other 3 members to arrive and start their meeting with manager.
“What is it? What did you do this time?” Kame asked after decided that if he continues to ignore them, Koki might really put an end to Jin’s life and make the rumors about Jin will no longer be in KAT-TUN become real.
“What? Why do you think something happened and I was the one who did it?”
“Because you’ve been looking at your phone like you want to call someone but afraid that if you do that person won’t talk to you or won’t even pick up. And why do you want to talk to them if you aren’t the one at fault.”
“ un well Pi’s not talking to me. He didn’t even answer any call or mails I sent him for days.”
“What did you do?”
Koki and Kame just gave him the look.
“It was we were arguing over something trivials as usual, you know, like this dish is yummy and the other’s not, I wanna watch this program but he wanna watch the other. I ‘might’ have said something upset him that night and he didn’t say a single word to me since then.”
Kame sigh and mummer ‘the both of you ’ before he said “Jin, you of all people should’ve known that he can be really petulance sometimes. Especially to you, Jin.”
“I know that. Do you know how much time I spent trying to make him forgive me each time he was upset with me? And he upset with me a lot of times.”
“Like what you said in Shounen Club years back, that Yamapi didn’t talk to you for 3 months? I remember ‘cause I thought it was really weird for someone who wouldn’t talk to each other to sleep beside each other for 3 months.” Koki who has already stopped writing his song, turn to asked Jin.
“Yeah, like that. And then he started talking to me again as if those 3 months didn’t happen.”
“That’s part of your fault too, you know. You spoiled him more than Toma and Takkey together. You let him do whatever he wants and you did everything he wants you to do ever since you met him.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did. And this time you don’t have another 3 months to wait for him to talk to you, Jin.”
“Do you want to spend these last few weeks like this, sulking, and then regret it when you’re in L.A.?”
“Jin, L.A. is really far, and you know how he’d been last time.”
“ ” Jin was only looking at his hands.
“You know, sometimes I thought about when we first met him, if it’s you, Kame, being his best friends, being the one who stood beside him all these years, what would it be like, would he hurt like that? We all knew how much he like you and don’t like me when we met the first time.”
“What are you talking about, Jin? Me? You seem to forget something important here, why I’m not in the inner circle of Yamapi’s friends. You say, if it was me, he wouldn’t hurt like that? I did hurt him Jin, remember?”
Koki could only look back and forth between the 2 in front of him. Feeling like he shouldn’t be here somehow.
“That fight, what caused it? Why couldn’t you 2 just make up and go back to the way you use to be?” Jin asked without lifting his eyes from his hand.
“You didn’t know? Pi didn’t tell you at all?” Kame looked at Jin with a little surprise.
“No, I didn’t. Pi never said anything about it. All he did that night was crying and say nothing.”
“And after all this years, you’ve never asked him?”
“No, I don’t want to upset him by make him remember what happen.”
“And now you’re asking me?”
“I just want to know what made you who got along really fine like hands of a clock, stop talking to each other for years. And you’re the one who started to talk about it.” Jin looked up and point at Kame.
“ ” This time, it was Kame who looked down at his hands and went silent.
“You don’t have to tell me if yo .”
“It started about a month before that day.” Kame interrupted what Jin was saying. “Pi came to my house the day before and had a sleepover. When I wake up in the morning, first thing I saw was Yamapi’s face, so close to mine .”
“What? Don’t tell me you scared of Pi’s sleeping face or something?”
“Idiot. It’s not that, you know, you were right, Jin, he was really adorable. That morning, I realized, I didn’t want that moment to end. The moment that I had him so close, could hear him breathe, I didn’t want it to end Then I got scared. ‘What am I thinking?’ I tried to stop thinking about it but it became harder and harder .. So I started to distant myself from him, but Yamapi is Yamapi, he kept asking me what’s wrong, why can’t he spend time with me like before.”
“So .you decided to end it all by making him hate you and you convinced yourself that you hate him?”
“ .Something like that, I guess. If we got closer, it might ruin both our lives and careers.”
“You chose to be an idol over him?”
“No, I didn’t .There’s a huge difference between fan-service and a real thing, Jin. It’d not be easy, it’d be painful. And you know how much he loves this job.”
They both went silence for a while, then it was Jin who broke it.
“So that’s why you looked so happy when you heard about the Nobuta thing?”
“That drama, Nobuta wo Produce. You seemed so happy when you know that you were in it with him, even though you guys hadn’t talked to each other for years.”
“That’s ..” before Kame could finish what he wants to say, he was interrupted by Jin’s cell phone.
.Tuuuuu .. ..Tuuuuu
“What’s up, Ryo-chan?”
‘Akanishi, what the hell did you do?’ Ryo’s voice was so loud and the other 2 in the room could hear him.
“What?...Ryo-chan. What are you talking about?”
‘Yamapi, he’s been doing nothing but sulking ever since he got here. And we definitely wouldn’t get any work done with him being like that. I want my group’s leader back, so you come here and fix it right now!’
“Pi’s got here already! I’ll right there, Ryo-chan.” With that, Jin shut his phone and put it in his pocket then ran out of the room while saying “I’ll be back.” Waiting for no answer.
Now, it left only Koki and Kame in the room.
“They say you’ll never forget your first love” Koki said, after he’s been silence the whole time.
“What?” Kame turned his eyes to Koki.
“You did look really happy about that Nobuta thing, Kame. You keep using ‘Shuji, Akira’ gag until now.”
“maa Yamapi is so dense sometime, ne? And Jin too. No wonder why they are best friends.”
“For not noticing your feeling for him. And he and Jin are so dense for not realizing what they feel for each other.” Koki explained.
“Maybe it’s better this way. Johnny-san doesn’t like that they are close, this close.”
“Maybe. But I’m surprise you actually talk about this, you rarely talk about how you feel.”
“don’t know, maybe just want to get it out.”
Suddenly the door was openned, and 3 figures walked into the room.
“Good morning, everyone” It was Junno first to greet them with his bright smile, followed by Ueda and Nakamaru.
“Where’s Jin?” Ueda asked after noticing someone was missing.
“As usual, in NEWS room.” Koki answer him.
“Again? Is he sure he doesn’t want to be in NEWS?”
“Don’t get angry. Maybe he just wants to spend time with them as much as he can before he leaves. Or do you want Ryo to come here?”
“Not in a million years!”
“That’s what I thought.”.