The Eternal Nightmare

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            “He has everything. Money, servants and power to control people. I just wanted what he has” ; that was what they all said. I was the son of a great politician of this country. So great, that if this country had a king, I would be the prince.

            I had followers. I didn’t call them friends, I was in the rank too high from them to called them friends.

            “You are too arrogance, Felris. Be careful you will burn yourself to death.” said one of my followers. But I ignored him like I always did.

            The whole story, it all started after I went home that night. I locked myself in the room and decided to take a nap because of an extreme headeche.

            I woke up in a dark, cold and quiet place. It was so quiet that I heard a water drop from far away. I stood up and started looking around. I felt like I wore a different clothing. It wasn’t my school uniform, it was some long sleeves, kind if Renaissance-like cloth. I even had a hat, it had some white Narcissus flowers and a purple feather on it. I walked to the desk nearby. There, I found a broken frame, but it was too dark to see the picture.

            I turned on the light, but it didn’t work. I started to felt uncomfortable, I can hardly breathe, so I untied my tie. Then, I kept looking for an exit. While searching, somehow this place felt so familiar, like I had always been here since long ago.

            Until I reached the door knob. I opened it carefully and, I see the inside － it was a big elegant purple-golden throne. It amazed me with its beauty. I slowly walked to it and touched it, very gently. Until that I was sure that this throne made no harm, I sat on it, I know, this throne, it was perfectly made just for me.

            I put my leg across another, looking down the throne. Somehow, I felt something...after wandering around for a while, I noticed it. This was a dream, a lucid dream.*

                  I lightened up the room, it was decorated with all kind of furnitures I liked. I create some servants and made them beckon down to me. I created my father, my followers and everyone I could thought of to bow and kneel before me. Everything in this place was all after my command, and only mine. It was way better than reality where I must lived in gross places with dirty humans, wasn’t it?

            But not for long. I woke up on my bed, in my room, nothing seemed wrong here, just  silence. I thought that lucid dream wouldn’t come back ever again. So I just act like normal, nothing was unusual until it was my bed time.

            Before I layed myself down to the soft pillow, I hoped a little bit that, that lucid dream may come back... I slept, and felt like I was falling into a very-very deep abyss of darkness. Everything was settled, nothing moved, even me.

            But suddenly, I opened my eyes and looked around, it was the same place, the throne room. That night, I enjoyed the power I’ve recieved. I felt so powerful like I haven’t ever felt before. This wasn’t just a dream, it was another world, another dimension, the place where no one ever reached down. And it was mine, every single space here was mine. I was the great King of this place.

* Lucid dream = the ability to control your dreams and still has concious.

            The morning came. It was the very first time I wanted to stay in bed. I tried to close my eyes, but was interrupted by a maid knocking on the door.

            “Leave me” I answered the knock before she even said anything.

            “Y-yes sir” she answered with her very gentle voice and walked away.

            I got dressed and went to school just like always. As I walked, everyone bowed down to me. But it wasn’t like in the dream. They pretended the action, they just do it fakely－and it annoyed me. Everytime I made a command, they hesitated, they didn’t really obey to me. They didn’t really respected me.

            All I heard are just gossips. They talked behind my back; I was a spoiled kid they said, I was selfish they said, I was unfriendly they said. But did they ever asked me, ‘Why did I became like this’ or ‘Was it true’?, no, they never did. They knew nothing about me, but yet, they talked about me like they knew.BUT THEY KNEW NOTHING

            ...Would you rather lived in a world that is hideous like this, or a world you can create and control everything? The answer is obvious.

            I entered my bedroom after I got home. Took a shower and cleared every assignments I’ve got. Get ready to enter ‘My Uthopia’.

            I slept. Everything was dark and quiet, as always. I waited for my world to be revealed, a world, where I was the king.

            But I woke up somewhere else. A very-very familiar place. It was the room I entered before the throne room, but now, it was lighten up. I didn’t care about this room and walked straight to the door－the door to the throne room. Once I opened it, something pushed my back so hard that I, uncontrolable, bounced into the room.

            I looked back to see who pushed me here, but I saw no one. I then, looked up to the place where it was supposed to be an elegant throne, but there was nothing, too, just the darkness, I couldn’t see anything in this room, but one thing I knew was, the door where I came in was gone. I tried to control the light in the room, but was unable to do so. I couldn’t control my dream anymore. The uncomfortable feelings crawled up to the bottom until it reached my nape of the neck, I sweated. It was all silence－deadly silence, I heard nothing, not even a water drop from so far away, I just heard, my heartbeats. I walked, hoped to find something bright,-no, anything, just anything to stopped this uncontrolable heartbeats of mine.

            Then, while I was walking around, tried to find something, I stepped on some glass. I picked it up slowly, somehow, I was able to see it so clearly. It was the broken picture frame, the picture that I was unable to see at first, was now able to. The second I saw who was in the picture, I threw it away, as far as I can. I didn’t want to see it. Something, this place, it brought them back, no, no!

            As fast as I can, I ran to nowhere. No matter how long I had been running, I still felt I was just running in the same place. I can’t control anything, and neither woke up, too.

            That was when I heard a familiar conversations;

            ‘Silence! Stop acting like a kid, Felris. You’re the Deus’s son, the descandant of Deus!”

            “Deus’s leader’s commands are determinated!, now, get back to your training!”

            “Oh no, he’s coming here! Run! RUN!”

            “Don’t go near Felris, he’s the Deus’s son, the corruption politician! Eww”

            I stumbled down, covered my ears so those noises may disappeared. But it still came. No more, no more! why? why can’t I controled it? I tried to wake myself up, even slapped my face, tried to slept in the dream, I was still here, in this nightmare hell. I didn’t want to realized it, I was trying to forget it all, but why-why-...

            “Please!-let me leave-!, I don’t want any Utopia anymore, I don’t want any power, I don’t want to be the king anymore--! Just get me back, to the place where I left--!,..please” I screamed, but my voices was disappeared away in the distance, nobody came, nobody cared, just like me, back when someone asked me for help, yes, I just ignored them.

            The noises of my painful pasts still continued to play, for so long, so-so long... I felt like a hundred years had passed by, it still kept replaying it, no matter what I did, no matter how I begged. It didn’t stopped. I still couldn’t escape, I still locked in this darkness hell, the eternal nightmare.

~~~~THE END~~~~

(Possible Tale)

Mara – the English word for Mara is “Mare”, which is the origin word of “Nightmare”. It will sits on your chest while sleeping and making jam of your breath, chagning your dreams to nightmares. Croatians believe that Mara takes a form of a beautiful woman and visit men at night, and tortured him then slowly suck away their life forces. In other culture, Mara appears to be a thick skinned goblin.(www.listverse.com)

Felris