Dear diary : on the competitive world

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I arrive here

I notice I'm a young little deer

happy, running, watching.

The world here is so wondering.

My parents treat me with care. 

The two big deers follow me everywhere.

One day, after a year,

I can speed up my running gear.

My parents say, now I am faster

and strong enough to escape a tiger.

Finally they leave me alone

to explore the world on my own

I spend some more time to learn

what to do, how to do and what I'll earn.

Now I think I'm ready to live here.

I, then, join a group - a group of deers.

It is different to live in group.

As a noob, there are (many) things they want me to proof.

Find them places for food and water

save their babies not to be in danger.

It's tired and finally they admit me

but living in group has the things I disagree.

The deers start fighting each other

in order to become group leader.

They get weak, tired and hurt

but still, they want to always be the best and first.

One day, we're in a field with hungry tigers.

Every deers run the fastest to flee from the hunters.

Some young deers are left behind.

The motion of bloody field replays in my mind.

I start a fight with the group leader.

' why didn't you help them' I ask with anger.

He say, this is the world, not heaven.

These are the ways nature make it happen.

There are always preys and competitors.

Every being must fight and snatch to be survivors.

I know all of his words are real.

the ways of nature, everyone might feel.

I don't know if living lives should be vivid.

but why should we want to survive to live like this?

That day, I leave the group in silent.

I don't mind if tonight, I will be eaten.

Now I wish to stay

as well as pass away

So I continue walking

mountains by mountain, I'm passing

I see both beautiful and horrible things.

I find both happy and sad beings.

One day, I arrive at a strange place.

There're lots of creatures with monkey-liked faces.

They seem surprised to see me.

They give me a lot of grass and leafs of trees.

Later I'm put in a dark wooden box

and the door is locked

I hear the dogs barking

I listen to the 'human' talking

I have been in the box for days

one small hole allow me to see the ways

we have travelled so far

Finally, something seem to have stopped the car

I feel my box moved down

I guess that now I'm in the town

I hear the sound of engines

And the door open to what I've never seen

Around me there're lots of big cages

carrying all animals of all ages

baby rabbits to old tigers

little birds to huge alligators

The crowd seem excited looking around me

as I struggle hardly to set free

They force me intto a space

where little fake forrest set in place

I later realize it's just another invisible cage

where end of little forrest is the edge

My mind drive madly in terror

what if I have to live in cages forever?

I might seem to totally panic

Because other deers in the cage appear to be chaotic

A human gets in and calm me

I am here, letting him do it, under a tree

Suddenly, I realize I'm trapped

I feel my back jabbed

then I fag and fall down

I watch the cloud as I hit the ground

I wake up again in the morning

To my surprise, no one is surrounding

Three deers, my new cage mates

are so nice that you can never hate

They let me know they can't escape

Everywhere here are on tapes

We are being watched all the time,

perfect imprisonment as if we've done crime

In the late morning, people will come watch animals

They will be at the glass cage, knock and call

This will daily go on all day

If we're not sick or dead, we can't get out. No way!

My first day is exactly like they said

Our food are out there, waiting to be paid

People trade food with stupid-looking papers

The food keeper will gather and give us later

They say food selling won't be long lasting

only few days, after new dear's coming

People get excited with new animals' arriving

and the prison can make 'money' out of this thing

I watch the crowd carefully

The crowd of about thirty, all seem happy

some are big, some are small

some are short, some are tall

But then I see something

among these happy beings

A little human push one another

I guess he just want to see me clearer

That poor little boy cries as he hit the ground          (I guess he's a boy, isn't he?)

and people move back around

A man pull the boy up

It reminds me of memories I tried to rub

There's no where on Earth I can hide

even if I get to the world's other side

The fact, there're always competitors and preys

Oh, this is sad, what else can I say?

I stay there watching

Every moment, now, it is happening

which ever forms of it

competition is always what we have to live with

Years by years pass

Every last second becomes the past

I count on every endless day

I feel delight to know every moment, my body decay

The day has came, I leave my body of an old deer

After days on the world, this is the first without fear

People run in to take my body away

They're happy for me, I can say

My head was sold to stick on someone's wall

Jacket and boots from my skin are on the mall

My meat was for the hungry predators

My bones were sent to a rich collector

Nothing is left to do here

I don't seem to have existed anymore, it's clear

Now I'm travelling, going far far away from the beings

I'm vanishing

Bye bye

It's like a dream, to die

I'm leaving our world of cruelty

but also ,what's hidden somewhere in it, beauty

I wish you lucky ,happy living in the world

hopefully!

 

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