UNISTAR : Invisible Moon [English Version]

ลำดับตอนที่ #22 : Chapter 20 : Embrace The Moon

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Invisible Moon

Chapter 20

Embrace The Moon

"The air couldn't be touched,

but it was always by the moon's side, under the moonlight"

#WINisWIND

"One more shot, one, two, three..." I was wearing the university's uniform, standing and shooting photos at the studio of the student committee building. I tried to smile relaxingly, but I was still a bit nervous. As it was my first time taking a profile photo, and what's more, there were many seniors standing around, whispering about me.

"Hey, look, the business Moon is so cute."

"Wow. 360 degree cute."

"I heard P'In chose him to be their Faculty Moon."

"P'In is handsome, P'Wayu is sexy, and this boy is super cute!"

"Yeah. Real Cute Boy indeed."

I was both shy and nervous during the photoshoot, and when it was done, I sighed in relief.

"Thank you ka. This is the schedule for the Moon contest. We will have a rehearsal on the day before the contest. If you need any special equipment for the performance, please let us know."

The senior gave me a schedule sheet while explaining. I thanked her and raised my hands to pay respect and greet goodbye.

I looked at the time. The photoshoot only took half an hour. My morning class hadn't ended yet. So I headed to my faculty building. Today was Mr. Chana's class. Even though he had already excused me from class for the Moon photoshoot, I didn't want to miss his amazing lesson.

As I went over the contest schedule while walking back, I couldn't help but be shocked.

"What?! the contest will be held by the end of this month?!" I exclaimed. It was too soon. I was just selected as the Faculty Moon last week, and now I found out that the contest was just around the corner.

However, my Faculty Moon contest was arranged later than others. Some faculties had already selected their Moon even before the semester had started. It was probably delayed because P'In, who was responsible for selecting the Moon candidate, was busy.

When I arrived in the classroom, I pushed the door to open it slightly. Mr. Chana noticed me and he just nodded. I went to sit with Boss. He and his friends greeted me as usual.

After we finished the class, we had a lunch break and had an English class in the afternoon. Then, we had another orientation session in the evening. When we were gathering at the faculty courtyard, I couldn't help but look for P'In. I wondered whether he would come today. Well, I was a little disappointed as I couldn't see him.

"Win! What are you looking for?" Phan asked me. I flinched slightly.

Normally, with my fading characteristic, whatever I did or wherever I was, nobody would notice me. But now, it wasn't like before anymore.

"I was just wondering. Didn't P'In come today?" My word slipped out.

"Oh, P'In? I heard that DomKati was gathering at the MW Entertainment building today. He's probably recording a TV program."

"TV program..."

"Yep! A recording. It might be UNISTAR SHOWTIME!"

"Oh! And 'The Moon in the Kitchen' right?" I couldn't help but say.

Speaking of that TV program, I couldn't stop thinking of the taste of P'In's green curry.

"Wow! Maybe. Oh! I didn't know you watched this program too."

I tried to smile. I had no idea how to tell everyone that I was a DomKati as well.

However, our orientation session just began. P'Tong spoke through the megaphone.

"As we said, today we'll be counting the senior signatures. Do you remember? Freshies, please write your name on your notebook cover and pass it to the front."

I took out the signature collection book. In fact, I hadn't counted how many signatures that I had gotten so far. At least, I had some signatures from my seniors, so I wouldn't be punished.

"The one who has the fewest signatures must dance in front of everyone as a penalty. And we have a surprise! The top three freshmen who collected the most signatures will be receiving a reward. We'll treat you to free meals and drinks tonight!"

When P'Tong said that, some freshmen seemed disappointed as they didn't know about it before. They said if they had known that, they would have worked harder to collect the seniors' signatures.

After the seniors received all the signature books from us, they started counting while P'Tong led us to practice the cheering song. When we all sang too much until we had almost no voice left, P'Tong made an announcement during the snack break.

"Alright. We've finished counting. Before we announce the winner, let's give a penalty to the one who got the fewest signatures. Well, you might already know it."

P'Tong said with a laugh.

The one who got the fewest signatures was a humorous guy. I guess he purposely didn't do it. It's not surprising that one dance wasn't a big deal for him.

"And the winners with the most signatures are... First place — wow! Two hundred and thirty-eight signatures."

Two hundred?! Excuse me?! I was shocked. I knew it wasn't me because if not mistaken, I should have only about a hundred.

"Please give an applause to N'Boss!"

The moment P'Tong announced the name, everyone clapped out loud. I did as well. It's no surprise that Boss came out as the winner. He really worked hard to collect them.

"The second place — with two hundred and two signatures — N'Nina!"

I remembered that name. Nina the Faculty Star.

"And the third winner — with one hundred and fifty-two signatures — N'Win!"

I flinched as I heard my name. At first, I thought it might be someone else with the same name. But in fact, there was nobody else named 'Win' in my year.

I was in the top three? Oh...

"Wow! Although third place, you had IN's signature. You're the true winner!" P'Noey announced excitedly.

I thought everyone already knew that I got P'In's signature because I was his buddy-code family. However, they were still excited. Many seniors still wanted to see my signature book. Many friends also asked me to see it as well. I couldn't say anything and just smiled.

"Boss?" I was stunned as I coincidentally met Boss's eyes. He was staring at me coldly, making me feel a little unsettled. He seemed to be aware of that, so he immediately flashed me a natural smile.

Though it was temporary, I was quite worried. Boss actually won while I only placed third, but people paid more attention to me just because I got P'In's signature. In fact, it was a bit unfair for the one who put in all his effort. It's not weird for him to feel upset about that.

When our session ended, the seniors released us for the day. As for me, Boss and Nina, we were asked to follow the seniors out for that free meal they promised us. Most of these seniors were our P'Cheers and they've already reserved the restaurant.

"Including the first years and third years, we have fifteen people and four cars, so we'll split into four groups." P'Tong said.

The seniors split us as we were the first-years. Nina went with the female seniors, Boss went with the male seniors, and I went with P'Tong and P'Noey.

P'Tong was driving and P'Noey sat in the back with me.

"N'Win, how're you doing? Have you met IN recently?" P'Noey's voice sounded excited.

"Ah..." I had no idea what to say.

I thought of the dinner I had with P'In in his dorm, but it was a bit too awkward to tell other people. So I just nodded slightly.

"Wow! That's so nice. I envy you. I wanna meet IN often too." P'Noey said with a dreamy face.

"Will P'In come today?" I couldn't help but ask. Because I didn't see P'In today, but I was still hoping he would join today's party.

"IN has to work..." P'Noey said.

"...and the restaurant is kind of a bar. This morning Tong already asked IN, but he said no, because he normally won't drink. It's also about his PR image. If he comes to the bar, it won't be good for him."

P'Noey explained further.

I understood because it made sense. P'In had a very positive image and was a role model for the younger generation. Going to the bar wasn't really good for his image. Plus, he had so many things to do in a day, including giving alms for the monk, feeding fish and dogs — obviously he had no time to spare. Not to mention work related to UNISTAR. He probably wouldn't have time to go anywhere at all.

Suddenly, my phone rang.

"Oh." I was surprised when I saw that P'In sent me a message. I was both delighted and amazed at the same time.

P'In: Where are you?

P'Tong said that P'In wouldn't come, so I simply replied.

Win: I'm with 3rd-year seniors, we're going for a special treat.

I also asked P'Noey about the restaurant name and sent it to P'In. But he was just silent afterwards, and didn't reply to me anymore.

The restaurant wasn't that far from my university. With clear roads, it only took us twenty minutes to reach. The senior booked a personal room and had already ordered the food in advance. There were a variety of Thai dishes and snacks, and most importantly, alcoholic drinks and beer.

"Come, come. Sit here. If you want anything else, feel free to order. It's a big treat today!"

"Thank you, seniors." The three of us thanked them.

Since we were the youngest ones, they arranged for us to sit separately. I sat between P'Noey and P'Tong instead of next to Boss or Nina. The male seniors seemed to be in a good mood as they poured the drinks for me.

"Here you are. Let's celebrate our new Faculty Moon! Cheers!"

They were clinking glasses, so I followed them. But when I looked at the drink, I hesitated because I had never drank any before. I had no idea what it would be like.

'Would I be drunk or not?'

However, I didn't want my hesitation to ruin the atmosphere, so I just drank a bit. When the drink flowed down my throat, it felt a bit sore. After that, I felt a bit dizzy, but I was still conscious. I knew what I was doing, but I thought that if it wasn't necessary, I wouldn't drink again.

Since I wasn't a sociable and partying type, I could only sit and eat. I only talked when someone turned to chat with me. I saw Boss and Nina socialising with each senior with ease, while I could only smile shyly.

"Hey, I'm going to smoke outside. Anyone wanna join?" A male senior asked.

"I'm coming." Boss stood up. I was a bit surprised to know that he also smoked.

"Count me in too." A number of seniors followed as well.

"Nong Moon, wanna come?" A senior invited me.

"Well, I don't smoke." I told him the truth.

"Is that so? Wanna try? I can teach you."

I felt a little awkward. I had never thought about smoking before. Still, I was concerned whether it was part of socialisation among the men.

While I was worried about how I should reject it without making them feel bad...

"Do not smoke."

A familiar voice was heard. I was stunned. Not only me, everyone else was just as stunned. Apparently, we saw someone we never expected to see here.

"Oh? IN?" P'Tong exclaimed.

P'In was standing at the door. I had never seen this expression on him before. He seemed to be breathless, as if he had rushed over here.

I was surprised to see him here. At the same time, it was a relief that we were in a personal room. At least he wouldn't be seen by the fans, which could affect his image.

"Well, so it turns out you can join us. That's very good. We have a lot of food here. Or you can order more. Let's enjoy." P'Tong invited P'In, but P'In just glanced at P'Tong and said nothing.

"IN, you can sit here. We will go out for a smoke." One senior emptied his seat for P'In and turned to me.

"Nong Moon, are you coming with us?"

When that senior asked me, P'In's expression turned cold.

"I said, do not smoke." P'In said clearly. That senior appeared to be confused.

"What? Oh, I see. Hey, I know he is your buddy-code family, but you don't own his life, right? If he wants to smoke, it's his choice."

"He must not smoke." P'In still insisted.

The atmosphere suddenly became tense.

P'In swept his eyes over the table, which was filled with alcoholic drinks.

"He must not drink too." P'In turned to me.

"Hey. Isn't it too much?" That senior started to be mean to P'In.

"Does that make sense? We are treating the freshmen. We're just having fun and drinking is just a part of it. Why are you so serious about that?"

"Because it's not good," P'In said.

"You're thinking too much. Only one drink and a smoke. Nobody dies because of that." Another senior was laughing as if it was just a joke.

However, P'In suddenly stared at that senior. His expression was so cold that I felt shocked. P'In had never made such a cold face like this before. Not even once. Even that senior was shocked as well.

"Hey, hey, don't be like this everyone..." P'Tong tried to mediate their argument.

"IN. He didn't intend to say that. Well, I'm happy you can come. Wanna eat something? No smoking and no drinking anymore. Is that okay?"

P'In looked at P'Tong, his expression became more relaxed but was still cold.

Then, P'In turned to me, startling me. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he decided against it. The expression in his eyes changed, surprising me even further.

Because it seemed like — he was sad. Inexplicably sad.

"P'In..." I called his name lightly.

Finally, P'In decided to turn back and walk away without a word.

After P'In left, the room fell silent for a while. Everyone was still in a daze until the senior who had argued with P'In broke the silence.

"What's wrong with him? Just because he is a celebrity, he thinks he can do whatever he wants?"

"Hey, calm down." P'Tong tried to pacify him.

"I tried to be nice to him but did you see him? So annoying. He kept repeating 'do not smoke'. Well, we just invited the freshmen to smoke, treat them to a drink. What's wrong with that? He acted as if his parents would die because of that..."

His words made other male seniors laugh like it was a joke. However, most of the females, especially P'Noey, turned pale almost immediately.

"Hey, that is not funny." P'Tong said.

"What? What did we say wrong?" They still didn't understand.

"You shouldn't say that," P'Noey's voice was shaking as she said it.

"Luckily this is a private room. Otherwise, if IN's fans heard that..." P'Noey added.

"What's wrong? He is just an idol. We can't joke around with him at all?" He said.

"You stop." P'Tong raised his voice. "You should apologise to IN."

"What? I don't understand."

"IN's parents...passed away when he was young."

P'Noey's statement stopped the argument.

"I found out from his fan...she was close with IN's primary school teacher." P'Noey explained.

"IN's father passed away from lung cancer because of heavy smoking. Before his father left the world, his father had to stay in the hospital for several months. IN's family wasn't that rich. His mother needed to work hard on both weekdays and weekends to get money for his father's medical treatment. However, even after spending hundreds of thousands for his medical expenses, they couldn't save his father's life."

My tears fell a little as I heard that. The seniors who were annoyed and were laughing earlier were no longer as cynical.

"Not only that. After IN's father passed away..."

P'Noey's voice sounded very depressed.

"IN's mother was in despair. She kept blaming herself because she had never tried to stop her husband from smoking. She blamed herself that she earned money too late for medical treatment. Whenever she had free time, she always drank. Drinking might be the only way to help her forget her pain. One day, his mother was drinking outside, and IN had a fever, so his teacher called his mother to take him back home...But unfortunately, she had a car accident and passed away on that day. IN was just a young kid at the time."

"Oh no..."

After hearing about P'In's past. Many female seniors seemed to feel hurt for him. Even the male seniors looked quite anxious.

"Now do you understand? Think about how IN would feel." P'Noey said to the other seniors.

"For you, drinking and smoking might be something fun. But for IN, it is not. Both things took his parents' life away. They never returned."

"I...didn't know before. I'm sorry." The seniors from earlier said with regret.

"That's alright. IN will understand you. I believe he knew that you didn't intend to say that."

Even though the air was cleared for the seniors, I was still feeling very uneasy.

It was very depressing to hear about P'In's tragic past.

I was worried about P'In. Was he okay? I was too worried to just sit here and do nothing. So I decided to leave.

"N'Win?" The seniors were puzzled as I suddenly stood up.

"I might not come back. I'm very sorry." I said goodbye to everyone and ran out of the restaurant.

P'In was my only focus now.

I was running outside without any clear direction. I didn't even know where P'In was right now. P'In might have already taken a car back and not be near here anymore. Regardless, it didn't matter where he went, I must find him. Without any reason. As if the strong emotions I was feeling inside me took control over my actions and decisions.

"Where is he?" I murmured while still trying to find P'In.

If I was him, where would I go at this time, feeling like this?

P'In might be similar to me. Whenever I was feeling down, I would find a place where there are a lot of trees, or a place that's near water. Sometimes, watching the beautiful nature could somewhat remove the heavy feeling from my mind.

Oh, I remember that the Chao Phraya River was nearby.

I hurriedly went to the riverside pathway. I ran as fast as I could while keeping a lookout for P'In — and finally.

I found him. I slowed down, gasping for a breath.

P'In was there, resting his arm on the railing. His eyes were looking over the river. During the night time, both sides of the river were full of buildings. The night lights reflected on the water surface were very stunning. However, the light reflected in his eyes was gloomy.

His eyes were distant, as if his thoughts were flowing with the water. Although P'In was obviously standing right here, his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

"P'In krub." I called him.

P'In seemed to snap out of his trance. He turned to me, kind of surprised. As if he didn't expect that I would be here.

"Win..." He called my name.

"How did you come here?"

His voice wasn't like usual, it was trembling a little.

"I'm looking for you." I told him the truth.

P'In didn't say anything. His eyes just turned back to the dark river.

"P'In krub." So I called him, and he looked at me again.

"According to tradition, the first years should always follow the seniors..." I explained to him.

"But other seniors are just my seniors while you're my buddy-code family."

My heart wanted me to spill everything.

"So, whatever you tell me to do, I'll follow you. Even if it might differ from other seniors. I'll choose to follow you first."

His eyes were fixed on me.

"P'In, you told me not to smoke, so I won't smoke...you told me not to drink, then I won't drink."

I said firmly, but the more I said, the more I felt shy. So I just looked down while randomly moving my feet.

"Actually, I've never smoked or drank..."

I hadn't finished my sentence, yet -

I froze, as I was suddenly being embraced.

"P...P'In?" I widened my eyes.

P'In's arms encircled my body. I was shocked. My thoughts became blank. Every word in my head disappeared.

I could feel his warmth, as well as a familiar scent.

Although I couldn't see his face by now, I could feel it. He was sad. He was in despair. He was afraid — of something.

"P...In..." I couldn't control my voice.

"Not anymore," P'In said, lightly.

"Not anymore?" I didn't understand what he was implying.

"Don't want to...lose my...important...one...anymore."

His voice was tremulous.

"Drinking and smoking... Both things took his parents' life away. They never returned."

I recalled P'Noey's words.

P'In lost his parents because of drinks and smoke.

P'In didn't want me to drink and smoke.

P'In was afraid that I would leave him — like his parents.

For P'In...I was his important person?

My heart was racing. Although it was good that I was important to him, I was still very sad. His heart was hurt. His past must have been a tortured one. He must have suffered deeply.

"P'In...don't worry." I tried to cheer him up. I didn't want him to feel despair any longer.

"I'm your buddy-code family. I'll follow what you want me to do. I also want to eat your dishes for the rest of my life..."

However, P'In didn't respond. He was still holding me tight, as if he was afraid that I would disappear if he let me go.

I had no idea what to do. I also didn't understand why my heart wanted him to believe in me. I wanted so much for P'In to trust that I would be right here for him and that I would never leave him alone.

Although the air couldn't be touched, the air would still be here under the moonlight. Never changing.

At first, I hesitated, then I slowly hugged him back.

I embraced him with both my trembling hands. My heart was racing even faster.

Whenever the moon was in despair and was unable to shine.

The air would always be here, embracing the moon.

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