Recovery (Yaoi) [ENG]

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Recovery: 12000 words
 

            Benjamin Walker sprained his ankle by car accident while visiting his professor at the hospital. He hates hospital though his parents were doctors. He met Dr. Simon Corliss, Orthopedic Surgeon, who has beautiful blue eyes and a deep commanding voice. Benjamin felt something about his doctor but he wasn’t sure what it was.   

            Benjamin had been asked out for lunch with Dr. Corliss. They had lunch. They had a moment and his doctor made it clear that he was interested in him. Benjamin had to figure out how he felt about his doctor.

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Recovery

Hospital wasn’t a place for Benjamin Walker since his parents were doctors and he had to spend most of his childhood’s life there. That was why he chose to study in literature rather than medicine. For years he avoided this place but not this time when his favorite professor fell down the stairs. Fortunately, he wasn’t badly injured. He ended up in the hospital for days.  

Benjamin parked his car on the 5^th floor. He grabbed the basket of fruits from back seat, locked his car and started to walk. Suddenly, a car came out of nowhere. He fell over hearing his own heart beating fast. Benjamin cursed loudly, looking at the rear car passed by without slowing down. Once he managed to get up, he felt terrible pain in his ankle. He didn’t care and carried on his way to the professor’s room on 11^th floor.

Professor Ian Peterson has been laid up in bed for three days. His left leg supported with a splint. When he saw his favorite student walked in, he was happy.

“Look at you! Finally come to visit me.”

“I see you’re doing well, Professor P.” Benjamin put his basket on a bedside cabinet then sat on a chair talking to his professor.

“I’m really glad you came, Benny. I thought you were a boy who hates hospital.”

“Still do, Professor P.” There was a pause. “When can you leave the hospital?”

“Depend on my recovery. I hope it’s soon. I’m so bored. I cannot get up, cannot walk and there’s nothing I can do here. Next time bring some books, Benny.” He complained like a child that made Benjamin smiled a little.    

“Next time I’ll bring my assignment.” He grinned. “Hang in there, professor. I’ll come again soon.” Benjamin patted on Professor Peterson’s shoulder. He stood up and felt terrible pain when he put weight on the right foot.  

“What’s wrong with your foot?” asked Professor Peterson

“Nothing” He lied and walked out.

While Benjamin was waiting for elevator, he looked at his right foot, found out his ankle got swollen. It was getting worse when he walked. He stopped go to hospital since High school and didn’t want to start it now but his swollen ankle said another thing. He needed medical care.

Once he reached the 1^st floor. He went to Medical Record Department to register. After completed the form, he walked to Bone & Joint Institute. A nurse greeted him kindly then checked his temperature, blood pressure, weight and height.

“Please have a seat. The doctor will see you in minutes.” The nurse said with a smile.

Benjamin sat on a chair near a treatment room. There were a few patients waiting for their doctors. This scene brought some memories back.

When he was a child, he always came to the hospital with his parent to spend his day because they didn’t hire nanny. He saw a lot of patients, a lot of illness, people who died and people who had been left behind. Even though he was a kid, he can felt their sadness and suffering. He had seen enough. That was the reason he hates hospital so much. The place where full of pain.

“Mr. Walker” The nurse called, woke him up from the past.

“Yes.” He answered and followed her into the room.

In the room there was a man in a gown sitting on the chair. He had got short brown hair; his glasses couldn’t hide his beautiful blue eyes. When he saw Benjamin came in, he put his pen down and turned to his new patient. 

“Good morning, Mr. Walker. I’m Dr. Simon Corliss. How may I help you?” The doctor greeted. His voice deep and commanding but his expression was friendly.

“Good morning, doctor.” Benjamin didn’t know he had this manner. He sat on his seat and explained what happened. He sounded so stupid when he told the doctor about the accident and how he sprained his ankle.  

“May I have a look?” Dr. Corliss asked politely. He laid down Benjamin’s foot on his lap, examined closely. “I’m going to press my thumb around your ankle, please tell me where it hurts.”

“Okay. Ouch!” He exclaimed as soon as the doctor pressed his ankle.

Benjamin kept jerking every time Dr. Corliss examined him, the last one he groaned in pain. The doctor seemed to be pleased with his reaction. He smiled.

“Don’t worry. You’re going to be fine.” Said Dr. Corliss “It was tendon not bone I don’t think we’ve to x-ray.” He replaced Benjamin’s foot and continued “Use ice to reduce the swell. I’m going to prescribe you some medicines to reduce pain both oral drugs and external. Do you have any allergies?”   

“No” Benjamin answered. This was the third times he answered this question. He knew it was routine and also knew that it was going to be a follow up.

“I need you here next week at the same time, is that ok?” Benjamin felt something while looking into this man’s eyes; he saw warmness and kindness nothing like neither other doctors nor his parents. “Do you free on that day?” The doctor asked again since he didn’t answer.

“Yes, I’m free on that day.”

Somehow, it sounded like Benjamin had been asked for a date, the way Dr. Corliss talked to him. His expression, his voice did the guy want to ask him out? No, of cause not it was just an appointment, which meant he had to come to the hospital again.

“Wear an ankle brace. It provides support and protection. You don’t want to risk for re-injuring.” His deep commanding voice actually commanded Benjamin this time.

“Thank you, doctor.” He stood up slowly didn’t want to hurt his foot. It hurt anyway.

“Mr. Walker” The doctor called before he walked out. “How did you get here?”

“I drove.” He replied doubtfully.

“I suggest you to take public transportation for a while until you can move your ankle freely.”

“I cannot drive?” he raised his voice.

“You can.” The doctor replied friendly “But I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Benjamin blushed. “I…I can take care of myself.”  

“See you next week, Mr. Walker.” Dr. Corliss said with a smile. Benjamin nodded and walked out with the nurse.

Benjamin’s foot got worse every time he walked but the worst part wasn’t over yet. Now he understood why Dr. Corliss didn’t want him to drive. When he stepped on the accelerator or hit the break, it was terribly painful.

Two days later, Benjamin came to the hospital again to visit Professor Peterson. He brought his assignment and some novels so his professor finally had got something to do while he was in.

“How's your leg, professor?”

“It’s kind of itchy.”

“That's a good sign, isn’t it?” Benjamin looked at the splint. “You’re going to check out soon, Professor P.”

While they were talking, the door opened and the doctor and the nurse came in. Benjamin stood up to let them do their job. He found out that man was his doctor too.

“Mr. Walker”

“Dr. Corliss”

They greeted at the same time.

“So, you know Dr. Peterson.”

“He’s my advisor.” Benjamin didn’t know why his heart was so pounding. He turned to his professor “Well, I think I should go.”

“Not necessary, Mr. Walker, you can stay. I’m going to check Dr. Peterson’s leg. I’ll keep it quiet so you won’t know I’m here.”

Benjamin sat back watching the doctor examined the leg.

“How do you know him?” The professor asked Dr. Corliss.

“He's my patient too.”

“Oh. What happened?” He turned to his student.

“He twisted his leg.” Dr. Corliss answered.

“That’s terrible. You should rest.” He told his student to go home.

“It’s not that bad Professor P.”

“Well, Dr. Corliss’s a good doctor. I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Benjamin saw Dr. Corliss smiling. Professor Peterson continued. “You’re upset, don’t you Benny?”

“Why?” It was Dr. Corliss who asked.

“He hates hospital.”

Dr. Corliss looked at him curiously. Benjamin didn’t say anything. He avoided eye contact with the doctor and watched the nurse checked his professor’s temperature. After they finished, Benjamin said goodbye to his professor and decided to go to the university early.

When he left the room he saw Dr. Corliss at the nurse counter working on patient’s files. Benjamin passed by without a word. He was waiting for an elevator when Dr. Corliss called.

“Mr. Walker!” He heard but didn’t response.

There was something in this doctor that made him felt…weak? He wasn’t sure what it was and didn’t know why. He just didn’t want to talk to this man alone. Unfortunately, the elevator wasn’t come yet so he had to face him.

“Mr. Walker”

Dr. Corliss called again. This time he turned.

“Doctor” Benjamin looked at the guy and met those beautiful blue eyes behind the glasses. He blushed without reason.

“Are you leaving?” Clearly, the doctor didn’t want an answer. “Are you up to anything this afternoon?”

“I’ve got class at 2 P.M.”

Dr. Corliss checked his watch. “So, we can have lunch?”

“I don’t think that’s…”

“I insist.” He didn’t let Benjamin finished his sentence. “I’ll catch up in 15 minutes. Could you wait for me at the lobby, Benjamin?”

He felt intimacy when the doctor called him by name and that deep commanding voice made him realized he couldn’t resist. It seemed like Dr. Corliss already took control over him.

Benjamin sat on the sofa at the lobby waiting for his doctor. It was already thirty minutes instead of fifteen, however he understood because his parent kept him waiting most of the time.

He saw Dr. Corliss came out of the elevator without a gown. He looked difference but charming – more charming.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. You ready?”

“Y…Yes”

They walked to the outdoor parking lot where Dr. Corliss parked his car. It was silver ice metallic beautiful two – seat car. Dr. Corliss opened the door for him. Benjamin thanked quietly, getting into the car. The black seat was soft and much more comfortable than his car. He felt so great as if he could fall asleep anytime. The interior was black and silver, very luxury. It could be anyone dreamed car including him.

“Do you like it?”

“Of cause, who doesn’t?” His eyes were still exploring the console. “I’ll never be able to afford this kind of car.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re just a student now wait until you get a job.” The way Dr. Corliss was saying made Benjamin remembered that he was younger than this man.

10 years at least?

“I’ve got part time job at the book store.”

“You really love reading, aren’t you?” Dr. Corliss asked. His gaze was on the road.

“Yeah...I guess.” His voice was as low as a whisper. Benjamin didn’t know that he loved to read or he just had nothing to do while waiting for his parent at the hospital made him loved reading. It was better than sitting on chair and did nothing.

The car stopped, Benjamin realized they arrived at the restaurant. It was a small restaurant located at the corner of the street. Its building painted in maroon.

Benjamin saw a few costumers through the window. The bell rang as they walked in, seeing the long mahogany counter opposite the door. The man behind the counter greeted them, seemed like he and Dr. Corliss knew each other.

“That’s Peter, the owner. I’m his regular customer.” Dr. Corliss said as if he could read his mind. “Let’s sit over there.”

Benjamin followed his doctor to the table next to the window. The waitress handed them menu, she had a pen and notepad ready.

“What can I get you today, Dr. Corliss?”

“Just give us a second, Anne.” He answered with a warmly smile.

“Call me if you’re ready.” She gave Benjamin a strange smile, not in a bad way but the way that made him curious.

“Find something you like?”

“I...” Benjamin didn’t answer right away. His eyes rolled over the menu but his mind was somewhere else.  He had no idea why he accepted this invitation at the first place. Why he was with this doctor. It was a lunch. He told himself. A normal lunch, there was nothing special about It. However, he was nervous as if he never went out with a guy before...no he went out with friends but it was different. Something in this man made him felt both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.

“Relax, Benjamin. It’s not a date.”

“Oh, no. It’s...” Benjamin blushed as he was looking at Dr. Corliss’s face, he was smiling. His eyes were so blue and sharp as if he could look straight through his mind. “I’m sorry. I order right away.” He was back to his menu tried to find something simple. He could hear his own heartbeat. It was strange. Benjamin never felt this way before.

Anne was back with her notepad and pen. Dr. Corliss ordered Chicken salad and espresso for himself, fish & chips and iced tea for Benjamin.

“I’ll be back with your food.” The waitress said before she went back to the counter.

“How’s your leg?” Dr. Corliss asked when they were alone.

“I’ve to wear the support all the time otherwise it’s hurt.”

“It’s going to take time. Weeks or months depend on your behavior. You’re doing well. I can say.” He was smiling and those eyes behind glasses were gentle. It made Benjamin wondered did Dr. Corliss ask all of his patients for lunch. “I didn’t ask everyone out.” He told Benjamin out of the blue as if Dr. Corliss could read his mind or his face, it had to be face, Benjamin thought. “You don’t have to worry if you think it’s nothing then it’s nothing.”

“But it's not nothing. Am I right?” He stopped as Anne served their meals and continued when she leave. “I’m sorry. I just…I don’t understand. You’re my doctor, I just met you but you already asked me out.”

It was disturbing for Benjamin not knowing the reason. He wanted to be clear.

“I’m not wearing a gown right now so I’m Simon and you’re Benjamin.” He said. His hands were on the table. He cocked his head, his face straighten. “If you ask me ‘am I interested in you?’ my answer is yes. If you ask me ‘is this a date?’ I’ll say it’s whatever you like. If you ask me ‘do I want you to be my boyfriend?’ I can tell that it’s just a beginning.”

“But I...I’m not...gay.” Benjamin dropped his gaze, starring at a glass of iced tea. He wasn’t gay though he never had a relationship before nor man or woman. It wasn’t come to his interested. However, what he felt right now he couldn’t describe. He didn’t understand what feeling Dr. Corliss made him felt.

“Take your time, Benjamin.” His voice was soft and gentle but Benjamin could tell he was in his adult mode. “I’m not going to push you to the direction you don’t want. I’m a grown man. Now, finish your lunch.”

Benjamin nodded without a word. He was thinking again. It was fast, too fast for his brain to be reasonable, and too fast for his heart to learn whatever this feeling called.

Lunch continued silently. Benjamin finished his delicious meal, he was stirring his glass of iced tea as Dr. Corliss spoke.

“I’d like to ride you to the university. If you don’t mind.”

“Don’t you have patient waiting?” He asked didn’t want to sound so rude.

Dr. Corliss shook his head. “I’ve got time. It’s not far, isn't it? The same university as Dr. Peterson was teaching.”

Benjamin forgot that his professor had been treating by his doctor too.

“If it’s not causing a trouble.”

“It’d be my pleasure.” Benjamin could hear the excitement and satisfaction from Dr. Corliss's deep commanding voice. He paid for this meal didn’t let a chance for Benjamin to disagree.

The car went smooth as they were on the road; Benjamin was watching the view outside the window tried not to be nervous. While they were driving to the university, he kept quiet along the way. Dr. Corliss seemed not to be upset about his silence.

It was 1 P.M. when they arrived at the university. The car stopped in front of his faculty. Benjamin was looking to his doctor, he said.

“Thank you for the ride and for lunch as well.” He unlocked his seatbelt. His gaze was still on Dr. Corliss who said nothing but a firmly nodded. Benjamin opened the door, stepping out. He shivered by his injured foot.  

“Are you alright?” Dr. Corliss said something at last. His voice was full of worry.

“I’m okay, doctor.” He replied. His heart throbbed without a reason.

“It’s Simon.” Benjamin looked back faced his doctor. Their eyes met and he could feel all his blood flew entirely his system. His face felt so hot as if it could burn.

“I’m okay, S…Simon.”

It was the brightest smile Benjamin had ever seen, the doctor’s eyes were sparkling like a clear crystal under the sunlight. It was beautiful and remarkable. Obviously, Dr. Corliss was a heartthrob man.

“See you at the hospital.”

Benjamin didn’t reply. He was too shocked to say a word. His eyes was tracking along the silver ice metallic car, his thought was floating as if he was going to lose his mind. His heart was racing fast like he was going to have a heart attack.

It was his phone rang that brought him back to earth. The screen showed his mother’s name along with her smiling face. Benjamin sighed.

“What do you want, mom.”

“Do I have to want something from you to call you?”

“You always want something when you call.”

“Good point.” She said with her humorous voice. “I won’t call if it’s not important.”

“I’m listening.” Benjamin was walking to the building, his foot hurt in every step. He had to slow down to reduce the pain.

“You know, the occupancy of the hospital was a mess.” She began. “We’re short of staff so I just wondering if you could come to help. You don’t have to study in medicine or something, we’ve trainer to train you for a job. It’s temporary. Would you help? You learn all those basic life support. You know how to do it.”

His mother was being patient to wait for his answer.

Benjamin sighed. “You know I’m not going back to that hospital. I’m sorry, mom. You’ve got to find someone else.”

She was silent; He could feel something was coming.

“Is it about your dad?” Her question reminded him an event from the past. He didn’t reply. “It wasn’t his fault and you know that. Benjamin, it’s been 5 years already. You can’t do anything, he can’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry, mom. I can’t work for you. I’ve got injury. It’d take weeks or months until I’m full recovered.” He told her honestly. “It’s just my foot, by the way, if you’re interested.”

“Of cause, Ben. I’m worried about you. You’re my only son.” There were both sympathy and disappointment in her voice. “It’s okay. I’ll find someone. It’s nice to talk to you, Ben.”

“Me too.” His voice wasn’t sincere but he didn’t care. “Bye, mom.”

Benjamin disconnected before she could say anything further. The conversation brought him back to the day he decided not to go to the hospital again no matter what happened. It was the day he lost faith in his parent, his father as a physician. Hospital wasn’t a place for the living.

That was true.

Benjamin shook his head tried to forget what came in his mind. He wasn’t going to think about that day again. He knew it wasn’t his father’s fault, not all of it but his heart wouldn’t let him believed that. He needed someone to blame.
 

A week later Benjamin went to the hospital as his appointment came. He heard from the nurse that his professor already checked out yesterday, so he might see him at class today. Benjamin sat in front of the treatment room, waiting for his doctor, Simon Corliss. It had been five days since the last time they met. He tried to figure out how to greet him, to look at his handsome face, and met those beautiful blue eyes. 

It was weird. 

“Mr. Walker” Benjamin stood up and followed the nurse to the room. 

His doctor sat on a chair with a pen in his hand. It was the same position Benjamin saw when their first met. 

He couldn’t meet the doctor’s gaze. 

“How are you today, Mr. Walker?” Dr. Corliss’s voice was sweet gentle as usual. 

“I...I’m great.” He answered quietly. 

The doctor’s expression wasn’t change at all, like nothing special happened between them. He was calm unlike Benjamin. 

Dr. Corliss checked his ankle; it was in a good shape like never been harm, there wasn’t swollen anymore only a pain left. The doctor’s lips smiled in satisfaction.

“It looks great.” He said. “Does it still hurt?”

“Yes” He nodded, replacing his ankle brace.

“I prescribe you Ibuprofen as usual. Do you need more cream?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Then I’ll book you next week, same time?” The doctor raised his head so Benjamin realized it was a question.

“Y…Yes”

Dr. Corliss was smiling. “I’ll see you next week, Mr. Walker.”

That’s it?

Benjamin wasn’t sure what he expected, he felt numb as he walked out of the door. He didn’t say goodbye or thanks or gesture that he was listening. He didn’t understand why Dr. Corliss could look at him as if they had never mentioned anything about date. It was like they were just patient and doctor.

They were just patient and doctor. That moment in the room was right as it should be...

However, it wasn’t felt right at all.

After paid for the bill and collected his medicine, Benjamin left the building. He was wandering when his phone rang the melody told him that it was a message. He looked the screen, didn’t recognize the number but when he read the text, his eyes went wide.

Good to see u Benjamin. /Simon

Somehow – without knowing why – it felt so right when he read the text, that simple text, again and again. His heart was beating fast, his mouth twitched with pleasure. He couldn’t believe his own eyes. Benjamin’s thumbs were on keypad, he wanted to text back, wanted to ask him if he free if he could have lunch with him but he kept his phone inside his pocket instead.

He was happy but also afraid and confuse. He couldn’t do anything at the moment; it would be emotional rather than reasonable.

Benjamin couldn’t risk for that.

The first place Benjamin went when he got to the university was Professor Peterson’s office. It felt so right seeing him in the room.

“Oh. Benny, good to see you.” Professor Peterson greeted with a cheerful smile.

“It’s nice to have you back, professor. You should tell me that you’re going to check out. I could help.”

“I’m not that old, Benny. Beside my son gave me and my wife a ride. So we’re fine. Thanks anyway.”

Benjamin watched his professor wondering around the office from bookshelf to bookshelf as if he had never fallen from the stair. He seemed fine like he said.

“That’s great.”  

“Are you okay?” The question made Benjamin looked at his professor doubtfully. “You look like a man who carried the world on his shoulder. Does you injury that bad?”

“Oh no, it’s not my injury.”

"So there’s something."

Benjamin felt like he fell into professor’s trap. He hesitated to talk. What he was going to say wasn’t a normal conversation between him and Professor Peterson, they were close and Benjamin looked after him as a father. However, it wasn’t easy at all to talk about something emotional. He asked his advisor for advice several times about his study, his part time job, and his personal life but never talked about relationship before.

“Is it about love? Cause I could see it all over your face.” When professor saw the look on Benjamin’s face, he stopped joking. “I’m not going to ask who. I want to know...I want you to think that are you serious with this person? If it’s yes, you don’t have to worry.”

“I don’t know how I feel.” He admitted. “It never occurred to me before...this feeling.”

“Is she nice?”

“Actually, it’s he." He heard the word ‘oh’ from his professor. “And he’s nice. Very nice.”

Benjamin could see the brighten smile on his doctor’s face, he could hear the deep commanding voice called his name. He was shivered just thinking about that man. “But I don’t know what’s he want or his thought. We had lunch together but the next time we met was like nothing special happened between us. He remained calm unlike me. God, I'm so depressed.”

Benjamin covered his head with both hands. His heart ached; the pain was so much more than his injured foot.

“It’s not depressing, Benny. You’re in love.”

“How could someone falling in love so easily?” As he said it, he realized. And seeing the smile on Professor Peterson’s face was a confirmation. “That’s...”

“Take your time, Benny.” The professor patted on his shoulder warmly.

“Oh he said that too.”

“It means he respects you.”

It was a relief to be able to talk to someone. He was feeling better, at least he knew how he feel but he still didn’t know what to do.
 

Dr. Corliss didn’t text him again since the first time; it had been four days already. Benjamin kept checking his phone almost the time he was in class. It was nothing. Not a call or a message. Nothing

He smiled to himself – a derisive smile – how could he be so stupid to think that there was something between them but then...

Take your time, Benjamin.

He remembered what he had been told.

Good to see u Benjamin.

And a simple message that made him smile like a happiest person in the world.

Benjamin didn’t want to meet his doctor only at an appointment. He wanted to see him more that was why he was standing in front of the hospital right after his class was ended.

Benjamin didn’t go inside immediately, he hesitated. What should he say to the doctor or the nurse? There had to be a nurse at the counter asked why he came two days earlier. What would he was going to say if he met Dr. Corliss.

The automatic door opened letting him got inside the building. There were lots of people than weekdays, the hospital looked lively.

Benjamin was walking to the Bone & Joint Institute; he saw his doctor came out of the corner. He stopped, hearing his own heartbeat. Dr. Corliss was looking at his file in hands so he seemed not to notice Benjamin. He was going to greet when the doctor raise his head. Their eyes met. It was like everything stopped moving as if the time had been frozen.

Benjamin could feel the heat coming all over the body and gathered on his face.

“Mr. Walker” Dr. Corliss was the one who broke this silence.

So it's Mr. Walker then.

“Doctor” his voice was fading as he greeted.

“Are you all right? Is there anything I can do? Is it your ankle?” Dr. Corliss closed his file and paid full attention to Benjamin.

“N...no I’m fine. I...” He hated himself for being so annoyed. Why can’t he speak what he wanted?

“I’ve got time. Would you like to get a cup of coffee?”

Benjamin nodded, following his doctor to the cafe on the 2nd floor.

The exotic of roasted coffee wiped out his nervousness. It was a small cafe and privacy. They sat in the corner, isolated from the rest of the costumers.

Dr. Corliss was enjoying his espresso, waited for Benjamin to start a conversation.

“You...why...” He was trying to talk but he didn’t know what to say. Instead of being polite he was complaining. “Why weren’t you text me anymore?”

“You didn’t reply my text.” His voice was a monotone not showing any expression. “So I think I got your message by not texting back.”

Oh.

Benjamin was stunned. He didn’t reply although he wanted to. What stopped him?

“I'm sorry.”

“If you want this – whatever – it – called – to continue, you’ve to say something. You can’t always be a receiver; you’ve to show me some, a sign, a reply, anything because I’m not going to force you to do it. I respect you when you said you’re not gay. If you don’t feel the same way I do, tell me and I’ll move on but if you...”

“I do.” He answered before Dr. Corliss could finish his sentence. He blushed because those beautiful blue eyes were looking at him surprisingly.

“You do?” He sounded so relief and his face was relaxed.

“I...”

“Okay. Stop. Before you said something like ‘I don't know’ or ‘I'm not sure’. Let's stick with the feeling that came in the first place."

Benjamin nodded. He was smiling just a short one but Dr. Corliss caught that happy face.

“May I ask why you’re not reply?”

“I wanted to, I really wanted to but I was scared.” He confessed. “I don’t know why you become my... concern... and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I know you’re a busy man, you’ve to work, however I want to see you...  and that’s weird because I just met you. I barely knew you.”

Benjamin wasn’t sure that this was a relief or awkward. It was the first time he said what he wanted, honestly. When he thought back it was almost like a confession.

“We’ve have time to get to know each other, Benjamin” Dr. Corliss said with a tender smile on his face. “If we’re alone, I’ll hug you and kiss you right now. Unfortunately, that’s going to make you uncomfortable.”

The word ‘kiss’ made Benjamin’s heart beat faster. His eyes were staring at those lips, imagined how soft and warm they would be. It wasn’t going to be uncomfortable at all. And when he met Dr. Corliss’s eyes, he blushed.

“I...I’m sorry.”

His doctor looked at him as if he had no idea what Benjamin apologized for but he did. Benjamin could tell that Dr. Corliss knew exactly what he was thinking.

The doctor gave him a warmly smile, put his hand on Benjamin’s lap without saying a word they understood each other.

“My shift’s over in one hour. Could you wait for me then we’ve dinner.”

“Yes” he replied certainly.

Dr. Corliss sighed with a relief. “Thank you, Benjamin. I’ll see you later.”

Benjamin nodded, watching his doctor walked out the cafe, got back to work.
 

The hour passed rapidly than Benjamin thought, he saw Dr. Corliss got out of the elevator. He was wearing light blue shirt with black long sleeves. Benjamin could see how firmly that figure was; those muscles behind cloth, that broad shoulders, his strong arms, and long legs. He was a very attractive man.

Benjamin felt the heat on his face. He dropped his gaze didn’t want Dr. Corliss to find out.

“Benjamin, are you alright?” He bended his head down where Benjamin was sitting.

“Y...yes, I'm o...kay.” He looked up, seeing the beautiful blue eyes were staring at him, he felt lost as if he could fall into them. Their faces were close, almost touched. Benjamin couldn’t breathe properly.

“Well then. Let's go.” It was the first time Benjamin saw the change of the color of his doctor’s face.

Did the man just flushed?

Benjamin smiled mildly while following Dr. Corliss to the car.
 

The restaurant was full of costumers since it was Saturday night. They found their seat in the back. The waiter came with menu and handed them a list of wines.

Dr. Corliss ordered the wine and the dishes for both of them while Benjamin was examining the restaurant. The interior was modern design; the tables, the chairs, and the decorations. Their colors were mixed between beige and brown.

Although there were a lot of costumers, it was quiet. The only sound Benjamin was hearing was the song from speakers – a lovely ballad song.

This was totally difference from the first time they went out together. Benjamin could feel the intimacy. Dr. Corliss wasn’t a man in a gown, he was off-duty, and now he was just an ordinary man who wanted to have dinner with him.

They didn’t talk, Benjamin wanted to but he didn’t know what to say. He kept silence. Dr. Corliss was the one who started conversation. It was strange like he could read Benjamin’s thought and put his weight away.

Tonight was a lovely dinner; delicious meal, pleasantly music, with a perfect person. Benjamin watched Dr. Corliss were eating, it wasn’t a thing he could see every days. He didn’t realize before how much he enjoyed watching this man – this perfect good looking man. And those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes behind the glasses, were gorgeous. He had to drop his gaze when Dr. Corliss looked up. It was rude to staring at someone face but Benjamin couldn’t help it.

“Admiring the view?”

The question made Benjamin cleared that Dr. Corliss knew he was looking at him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t apologize. You always said you’re sorry. Don’t be. You didn’t do something wrong. I’m glad that you’re only look at me.” His voice was tender as if he was whispering into Benjamin’s ear. He shivered just thinking about the doctor breath against his flesh.

“I’m sorry, oh!” Benjamin closed his mouth with a hand. He shook his head. “I think it became my habit.”

“Then I don’t mind” Dr. Corliss put his arms on table, he was smiling. “You’re so cute, Benjamin.”

His face was hot – extremely hot – he could felt the blood flow.

“Y…You too.” Benjamin dropped his head, couldn’t face his doctor. “You’re so kind a…and you’re very attractive to me… I mean to everyone.”

He heard Dr. Corliss chuckled. Benjamin was so embarrassed.

“What should I do to you, Benjamin?”

Benjamin couldn’t stop his palms from sweating. This was too much for him. His heart couldn’t take it. Benjamin thought that he might have a heart attack anytime soon if Dr. Corliss kept saying this thing – this sexy subtle thing – with his sexy delectable lips.

What should he do?  

Fortunately, Dr. Corliss didn’t force Benjamin for an answer.

“Shall we?”

He nodded then they left the restaurant.

“Where do you live? I’ll ride you home.” Dr. Corliss asked when they got into the car.

“That’s okay.” He answered quickly, tried to cover his tense. “You can drop me at the station.”

“I can’t do that, Benjamin.” The doctor replied calmly. “It’s getting dark. I can’t let you go home by yourself.”

“I’m not a kid.” He complained.

“No, you’re not. You’re my boyfriend.”

It felt so right hearing that word. Benjamin couldn't breathe, couldn't answer, couldn't do anything only staring at Dr. Corliss's face.

He nodded slowly.

“Good boy.”

Dr. Corliss started the engine, driving to Benjamin’s house as he gave the direction.

The doctor turned on the radio, a sweet song was playing. Benjamin relaxed and enjoyed this cozy atmosphere, hoping it would be last.

Time could fly. Benjamin thought when they arrived at his house.

“You live with your parent, right?”

“Yes, but they barely come home. So basically, I live here alone.” He didn’t know why he had to explain and say the word ‘alone’ as if he invited his doctor to come inside. That wasn’t his intention at all. Benjamin hoped that Dr. Corliss wasn’t think that he was flirting or something.

“So you’re lonely.” His fingers touched Benjamin’s cheek fondly. It was their first physical contact but that was all for him to quiver. Dr. Corliss took his breath away with that single touch.

It was only a touch. 

“I better go. Thank you so much doctor. I mean Simon.” He changed as he saw the twitch on the doctor’s mouth.

“Goodnight, Benjamin.”

He looked back and met his doctor’s gaze as if that blue eyes could say a word. Benjamin walked back to the car, seeing Dr. Corliss was smiling gently. But he had no idea why he came back.

“Come here, Benjamin.” His deep commanding voice was calling.

Benjamin bended his head down at the time, Dr. Corliss kissed him. It was fast, just lip brushed lip lightly and tenderly.

“Sweet dreams, my love.”

And then Dr. Corliss left, Benjamin was standing there but he knew his heart was following that silver ice metallic car.

He touched his lips, absorbing that lightly kiss. In some way, Dr. Corliss was mean. He made Benjamin wanted more; wanted to be touched, desired for more kisses, and yearned for something so much more passionate.

Benjamin couldn’t wait for his appointment with Dr. Corliss this morning. His ankle was getting better and better, almost full recovered. It only hurt when he tried to circle. He might not have to come to the hospital again.

“I make an appointment for you next week.” Dr. Corliss said after examined Benjamin’s foot. “If you’re feeling better and it doesn’t hurt, you don’t have to come. This follow up is a reassurance.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Benjamin didn’t know what face he was making, Dr. Corliss asked the nurse to step outside for a moment. She disagreed with the doctor but left anyway.

“Did I do something wrong?” Benjamin asked as the nurse closed the door behind her.

“No, you’re not.” His voice was serious that made Benjamin worried. “Did you just think that we aren’t going to see each other again?”

He knew.

Benjamin was going to answer while Dr. Corliss asked him for hands. Their hands were touched profoundly. He could feel the heat ran all over his body. The doctor’s palms were strong and warm. His touch was as gentle as his voice.

“We’ll see each other, everywhere, every time you want. Just call me and I’ll be there, understood?”

Benjamin looked up, seeing the blue eyes were fixed on him. He nodded.

“Yes, I understood and I understand that your job is important. I’m not going to be an annoying type. You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not worry at all.” The doctor’s hand caressed Benjamin’s face, it was pleasantly warm. He couldn’t hide his smile. He loved his touch, loved the feeling that crawling inside him, the tremble that made his heart throbbed.

There was a moment they were in silence, gazing at each other. Their faces were close, feeling the heat and the breath from both of them. Benjamin swallowed hard. His eyes were on those lips he touched a couple days ago.

Kiss me.

His thought made him low his head, Dr. Corliss dropped his hand.

“You should go” He said husky. Benjamin could sense the disappointment.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Benjamin. Really.” Dr. Corliss stood up, carried his file. Benjamin followed him outside, hoping that his face wasn’t too red.

“Escort him to cashier.” The doctor told the nurse.

Benjamin was going to follow the nurse while heard the loudly voice came from the corridor.

There were nurses and staffs moving the trolley passed the institute to emergency room. Benjamin could see the body on that trolley; he was badly injured, there was blood all over. He heard the word ‘car accident’ and that was all he could here.

The scene brought him back to the day he hated hospital. There was blood, there was shouting, ordering from doctor to nurse, nurse to staff. It was a mess. It was the day he always wanted to forget. The body on that trolley was his…

“Benjamin!” He heard his doctor calling for him but he couldn’t answer. It was dark as if someone turned off the light.

Benjamin woke up, seeing blurry white ceiling. He blinked to focus.

“Benjamin” he heard someone called from distance. When he turned to that direction he saw his doctor had worried looked on him. “Are you okay?”

He tried to get up, Dr. Corliss helped him sit.

“What happened?” He asked. Last thing he remembered was a man on trolley. Oh that trolley.

“You fainted.” The doctor replied. “I’ll call the nurse they send you to check up.”

“No, that’s not necessary. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? You’re not a faint type.” Benjamin chuckled. “Is it about the patient you saw earlier?”

How come Dr. Corliss could possibly know everything? Is his mind written on his face?

“It’s just...a past. I’m alright.”

“You don’t seem alright, Benjamin. You go home and get some rest.”

“You’re overreacting, doc...Simon” He called his name since they were alone. “I’m fine. I’m going to the university now. See you later then.”

“I’ll pick you up at university. I insist.” Benjamin was going to refuse but didn’t have a chance to say so. He nodded instead.

Before Benjamin walked out he turned to his doctor.

“Did he make it, the patient?”

“That’s not a thing you’ve to worry.”

“I take that as a no. I see. Thank you Simon” He looked at Dr. Corliss and smile weakly before got out of the room.

The nurse told him that Dr. Corliss already paid for his bill, he was going to thank his doctor but he already had a patient in the room.

Benjamin walked out the hospital. He watched his watch found out that he was going to be late for his first class of the day. It was Professor Peterson’s so he texted him. Benjamin took a bus to the university.

The scene captured in his heart. It was hard to forget. His hands were shaking he tried to cover that from his doctor. It wasn’t because of that patient that made him fainted. It was his past, the same scene as he just saw and also the same result.

He got into class fifteen minutes late. Professor Peterson received his text so he didn’t ask for an explanation. The mid – term examination was coming, the professor gave the students some guideline for exam.

“How’s your foot?” His friend, Gary, mumbled.

“The doctor said I’m fine.” He answered but his eyes focused on whiteboard. “But I’m going to wear support for a while.”

“Well, it’s fast, wasn’t. Three weeks?”

Gary’s question made Benjamin realized how long he had met Dr. Corliss. It was three weeks, only three weeks, how could he become the doctor’s boyfriend in that short time?

“Gary” There was tense in his voice. His friend responded. “Do you have girlfriend?”

“Why you ask?” He made an awkward face.

“Do you?”

“Yes!”

Benjamin was going to ask but he had been interrupted by his professor. “Mr. Walker, Mr. Jackson, do you two want a room?”

“No!” They answered in harmony. All students in the class were laughing. “Sorry professor. We’ll be quiet now.” Benjamin said and the class was back to normal again.

They had minutes before the next class started so they were walking and talking.

“So what do you want, Ben, why were you asking about girlfriend? Are you in a relationship? How could I don’t know that?”

“Shut up Gary. I’m the one who asking here.” Benjamin ignored what his friend was saying. It wasn’t confortable at all for him to talk about this issue but he wanted an opinion from someone who had an experience.

“Okay. Shoot.” He could hear the jolly sound in his friend’s voice.

“Well” Benjamin started with hesitation. “How long have you met your girlfriend before you ask her to be your girlfriend?”

“I don’t think people asked that stuff anymore. I mean I didn’t ask her. We just knew.” Gary answered. His eyes were shining while talking about her. “I met her two months ago, she’s a sophomore in English Language, I asked her out a couple times. We had a moment. Well, that’s it.”

“Is that it?” Benjamin asked half believe.

“Yeah, that’s it. What?”

“Don’t you think it’s too fast? I mean you just met her how could you be so sure about her?”

“You’re thinking too much, dude.” Gary patted him on his shoulder. “If you think she’s the one then she is, just go after her. But if it turns out she isn’t…well, I’ll buy you a drink.” He winked at him, Benjamin chuckled. “You can’t tell the future, Ben, just enjoy the moment while you can. Do you serious with this girl?”

Benjamin didn’t correct him. “Yeah, I guess. We just met and now we’re dating…”

“Did you have sex with her? Is she pregnant that why you’re worried?”

Thank god they reached the room and the teacher was already there so Benjamin didn’t have to answer the question. They sat two seats apart so they couldn’t continue their conversation.

Sex wasn’t come to his mind before, now his friend mentioned it. He felt the heat on his cheeks. The only intimate moment between him and Dr. Corliss was that lightly kiss. He wished he never had that conversation with his friend because now he only thought about his doctor.

It was half pass six, Benjamin finished his essay he left the building with Gary. They were talking about the upcoming exam when they heard the honk. Benjamin looked at his right found out there was a car parked near them, a silver ice metallic car.

“Oh…” He exclaimed turned to his friend. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Then he walked to the car left Gary watching curiously.

“I’m sorry. How long you’ve been waiting?” Once he reached the car he asked with regret in his tone.

“It comes to my attention that I don’t know when your class over. I’m going to need your schedule.” Dr. Corliss said with his glamorous smile. “Get in. I didn’t wait for that long.”

“I totally forgot that you’ll come to pick me. I thought you were kidding.”

“I can ride you home every day if you want.”

“Y…You don’t have to come every day.” He felt the nerve crawling inside. His mouth dried. “Come when you can.”

“I want to see you every day.” Dr. Corliss said softly as if he was whispering to Benjamin.

He looked away tried to hide his red, hot face. Benjamin murmured under his breath. “I want to see you too.”

He didn’t see his doctor face but he could sense how happy he was by the sound he made. “Let’s have dinner then I’ll ride you home.”

They were in a café not far away from Benjamin’s house. They ordered simple meal and drink. Benjamin still nervous even this was the third times they went out together.

“How’s your day?” It was the first time Benjamin started the conversation. He could felt they were closer.

“I’ll bore you to death.”

“I want to know you.” Benjamin said firmly. He enjoyed listening to his doctor told him about his day. He wasn’t understood completely about medical stuff but his doctor’s voice was gentle and pleasant to hear.

Benjamin couldn’t remember when the last time he was happy. It was great to have someone to dine with, someone to talk, and someone who cared about him.

He watched his doctor seeing his concern.

“What’s wrong?” He asked uncertainly.

“Nothing. I just…” The doctor paused as if he was thinking.

“Please tell me, Simon” Benjamin encouraged him. “You always help me. I want to help you too.”

“What happened this morning…” When Dr. Corliss started Benjamin could predict what was coming. “Made me wonder is that has something to do with your dislike. Your advisor said you hate hospital. Is that because someone important in your life passed away? I’m sorry I couldn’t find the word to say without making you sad.”

Benjamin lost in his thought he knew one day he had to discuss this issue with someone, and that someone was working in the hospital.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“No. It’s fine.” Benjamin sighed as if he was ready. “It was 5 years ago when I was fifteen...”

Benjamin was in the hospital, where his parent worked, as usual. When he was younger he spent his day in Pediatric Clinic where his mother attended playing with the toys. Since he was in high school he spent his days at Surgery Department which next to Emergency Room with his father. There were so many time Benjamin told them he could take care of himself and stay at home but they weren’t listen so he brought books to read.

It was half pass seven in the evening. Benjamin was reading his sci-fi novel when he heard the voice shouting in rush. It was normal to see this kind of scene; the staffs were moving trolley rapidly to ER, the attending doctor gave the nurse order trying to safe patient's life.

It was the same somehow Benjamin was curious who the patient since he heard the nurse called for his mother which mean he or she was an adolescent judged by the length of the body.

He looked up tried to see the face when they were passing him. They were blood all over.

“It’s hit and run.” One of the paramedics said.

Benjamin got up when he could see who the patient was. He would never forget his best friend’s face no matter how badly it looked.

“Thomas?” His voice was fading when the trolley had been gone to the ER. He saw his father was going inside. He shouted. “Dad!”

“What’s wrong Benjamin?” His father walked to Benjamin whose face was pale.

“It’s Thomas.” He said in shock. “That’s Thomas the guy on that trolley. He’s my friend and you know him!”

“Easy Benjamin. He’s going to be okay. You stay here okay?” He held his son tightly. “Just wait here.” He kissed Benjamin’s forehead then went to the room.

Benjamin was watching the door as it shut. He couldn’t breathe properly. He couldn’t sit. He just stood still looking at the closed door but his mind was somewhere else. He was talking to Thomas before he got here. They just talked a couple hours ago. How could his friend ended up like this?

Benjamin went to talk to the paramedics who filling the form at the counter. He wanted to know what happened but they told him nothing because he was a kid.

“He’s my friend!”

“I know how you feel.” She said. “He’s in a good hand, he’ll be alright.”

And that was all he knew – allowed to know –

He waited and waited and no one told him anything. He saw Thomas’s parent they were at the counter. The nurse didn’t tell them much unless he was hit by a car. When they saw Benjamin they came to hug him and he cried with Thomas’s mother.

Time passed so slow for three of them. There was no update about the surgery, about Thomas’s condition, nothing. Only thing they received was silence.

The ER light turned off. His father walked out of the room. The parent went to him immediately. Benjamin was sitting there watching their reaction then the mother cried louder as if her heart was broken.

He knew.

And his mind was shut, he couldn’t see anything, couldn’t hear anything. It was dark and cold. His tears were all gone. He was too hurt to cry anymore.

“Benjamin” It was his father’s voice that woke him up. He saw his mother was talking to Thomas’s parent. He turned to his father.

“Why?” His voice was trembling. He asked again there was rage in his tone. “Why can’t you save him? You told me he’s going to be alright! You’re a doctor why can’t you save him?!”

“Benjamin...” His father reached his hand to touch but Benjamin push away.

“What’s the point to be a doctor and cannot safe someone important!” He yelled. He never yelled like that to anyone before but he couldn’t bear it. Benjamin ran away he wanted to get out of this place and never came back.

“I didn’t go to that hospital again.” Benjamin told Dr. Corliss. His voice was tired. He tried so hard not to cry. “And I cannot forget what I saw that day. His face...I should’ve known when I saw him. I should’ve known that I wasn’t going to see him again. I shouldn’t have hope.”

He put his face into his hands. In the dark Benjamin could see Thomas’s face; his handsome face, his cheerful smile and the blood. Oh that blood was the worst.

Dr. Corliss reached his hand to Benjamin. The heat from his palm ran through his body.

“I’m sorry Benjamin. I wish I’ve another word that made you feeling better but I don’t. I’m really sorry for your loss.” His voice was soft and tender as if he was holding Benjamin gently. “But it wasn’t your father’s fault. There’s no one to be blame. You shouldn’t blame him and you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“It’s been five years.” Benjamin said weakly. “I cannot forget his face covered in blood. He was hurt. He didn’t want to die. He shouldn’t have to die.”

“I know.” His doctor squeezed his hand. Benjamin looked at him. “You don’t have to forget him but you’ve to remember the happiness moment between you and him not the last time you saw him. Thinking about your conversation, about your time when you’re with him.”

Benjamin nodded.

“And Benjamin.” He sounded serious. “Even a doctor cannot save all his patients. Sometime we lost them but we’ve to move on. Lost first patient was a nightmare some doctors couldn’t take it.”

“Did you ever lose your patient?”

“Not exactly. My last year as a medical student I got into OR. The patient lost lots of blood during the surgery. The doctor tried to save his life but it was too late. He couldn’t make it. That was the first time I saw someone die. It felt like I had to do something, I should’ve do something but they already did all they could. Then I realize that’s a life no one can’t do anything about it. I asked my doctor how he could still carry on this job after losing his patient and he said ‘thinking about the life you save not the life you lost’. Some cases I save patients’ life but they lost part of their body instead.”

Benjamin had no idea how hard it was to be a doctor. He remembered the day his parent lost the patient. And also remembered the day his father saved lives how happy they were.

“I...I’m sorry to ruin our dinner.” He told Dr. Corliss who shook his head.

“I’m glad we’ve this conversation.”

“Me too. Thank you so much.”
 

Dr. Corliss drove Benjamin home. He felt so much better after talking to his doctor about his past. He could see it clearly.

The car stopped in front of his house. Benjamin unlocked his seat bell, turning to his doctor.

“I’ll see y...”

Dr. Corliss kissed him hard this time. His lips brushed Benjamin’s. His hands cupped his face. Benjamin dug his fingers through his doctor’s hair. It was smooth as silk. And the kiss became more passionate. His tongue slipped inside him, caressing him, filling him up. Their hearts were hammering. Benjamin was kissing back, deeply and emotionally. Their tongues were circling inside as if they were playing tag. Their warm breathe against each other. It was long deep kisses that Benjamin wanted to continue as they were parted.

He looked up seeing his doctor breath sharply. His chest was pounding. Benjamin knew his doctor wanted more and he wanted him too.

“Goodnight Benjamin.” That was what Dr. Corliss said to him then Benjamin nodded.

“Goodnight Simon.”

He got off the car watched it slowly ran away. Benjamin fixed his eyes on that car until it was gone in the dark. The heat inside him still burning, his heart racing, his thought was on those kisses; the warmth of his doctor lips, the tenderness of his doctor tongue. Their kisses were hot and sexy. The sensation ran through his spine. He felt his erection was hard as rock.

“Who was the guy I saw yesterday?” Gary approached him as soon as Benjamin arrived in class.

He totally forgot that Gary was there when Dr. Corliss came to pick him up.

“He’s….” Somehow he couldn’t say the word. It was embarrassing even it was the right word. “Well, he’s my…doctor.”

Gary looked at him half believe. He raised his eyebrow.

“You’re dating with your doctor. Am I right?” Benjamin blushed as he was hearing the question. He nodded and his friend was cursing. “How could you keep something so important from me, Benjamin Walker?”

“I’m not keeping it from you. I’m just not going around and tell everybody about my personal life.” He explained but Gary made an annoyed face. “Why’re you angry with me?”

“I’m not angry” Gary replied. “You should tell me. I’m your friend, right? That’s what friends do; they don’t keep secret from each other.”

“Yeah. Right. Like you told me you’ve girlfriend.”

“Oh…okay.”

Gary stopped being childish and started to ask a lot of questions about Dr. Corliss. Benjamin gave him short answers so he wouldn’t ask for more, Gary asked anyway.

“Did you guys kiss?”

“W…What kind of question is that?” Benjamin wasn’t going to answer that for sure.

“Oh c’mon it’s a simple question. Everyone ask.”

“I’m not going to answer anything, anymore.” He protested. That reaction made his friend smiled wildly.

“So you already kiss. I see. That’s great. And sex?”

This time Benjamin gave him a – Stop – Right – There – look.

“No sex then.” He murmured then shut up finally.

There was no silver ice metallic car waiting for him this evening. Benjamin knew his doctor was a busy man. He sighed and took a bus to get home. His foot was recovered but he was wearing ankle brace. He could drive but he didn’t drive today. He thought he could see his doctor every day. He wanted to meet him.

Benjamin texted Dr. Corliss asking about his day hoped he would reply. Few minutes later his phone rang.

Boring n busy day

It was short but enough for Benjamin to smile seemed like all his exhausted were gone. He kept watching his screen read the text over and over again as if it would be more.

Benjamin went home with his heart full of happiness. This feeling was new to him. He never had been in a relationship before. He had no idea what to do; he only knew that he wanted to be with this man as long as his heart was beating.

Benjamin woke up early in the morning. He got dressed and went downstairs where he saw his mother came back from work.

“Good morning Ben.” She greeted putting her bag on the dining table.

“Morning” Benjamin poured coffee for her and him. “How’s the day?” He was being polite. They didn’t talk much, Benjamin and his parent.

“Like I told you before, we’re full. There were 2 kids discharged yesterday, one more admitted last night. This fever is serious hope that we’ve enough vaccine.”

“And dad?” Her eyes went wild when he was asking about him she had a delighted smile on her face.

“He has operation this morning so he’s not coming home. What about you? Why’re you asking me?” It had to be strange for her seeing her own son talking about this stuff. It was normal for many family but not for them. They weren’t close since that incident. She used to think it because her son was a teenager recently she realized it was about his best friend’s death.

“Nothing just asking.” Benjamin shrugged his should drinking his coffee before leaving. “See you later.”

After class Benjamin went to the hospital his parent worked. He was staring at the building it was the same as five years ago. The interior was also the same except the crown was bigger since this hospital became famous.

He walked through the hall way to Emergency room. His past was following him every step he remembered where he sat, where he saw the trolley passing by, and where his best friend was lying. The ER was the same as he remembered. He looked at the door from the seat he was sitting at that time.

“Benjamin?” There was a woman’s voice called for him from behind. He looked back seeing a nurse standing there. He knew her she was his father’s assistance. Her name was Jessica. She looked at him surprisingly. “Wow! You’re grown up. I barely remember you.” Her lips were smiling as she approached him. “It’s been a while. How are you?”

“I’m great. Thank you.”

“You still don’t talk much, right?” She was one of the nurses that helped his parent looked after him. “Did you come here to see your father? He’s in OR.” She looked at her watch. “He’ll be here in an hour. You can wait in his room.”

“Thanks.” He said to her before she left.

Benjamin went to Surgery Department next to ER. He stepped inside his father’s room. It was plain, no decoration just some charge hanged on wall. He sat opposite his father’s chair felt like a patient waiting for a doctor.

Benjamin reached for his phone in the pocket texting to his doctor.

Guess where I am? Saint Joseph’s Hospital

He waited for the reply but it wasn’t come immediately he almost put his phone back when the ringtone was ringing.

You’re very brave love. I wished I were there.

He smiled as he was reading the text then the door slid open his father walked in. He was surprise seeing his own son waiting.

“Benjamin”

“Dad”

He stood up facing his father whose face showed tired from long hour operation.

“What a surprise.” He said sitting on his chair. Benjamin sat across him. “So”

Benjamin bit his bottom lip he was nervous and scared. It had been five years since he talked to his father. He didn’t know where to start.

“Father” he called sharply tried to put his fear aside. “Did you know that he wasn’t going to make it? Thomas I mean, before you went to ER.”

His father sighed in relief as if he was waiting for this moment. He didn’t get a chance to explain what really happened to his son best friend.

“His condition was bad. He was bleeding internal. He was very weak…and yes I knew he mightn’t go to make it. We took a chance as much as we had at that time to save his life.” He watched his son who always showed his thought through his face. “Benjamin I’m really sorry. I didn’t have a chance to say this to you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save your friend’s life, Thomas’s life.”

“I...know it wasn’t your fault.” He kept staring at his hands. “I was mad. I was confused. I couldn’t accept what happened. So I put my anger on you.”

“It’s okay.” Benjamin nodded speechless he afraid if he started to talk he might cry instead. However, he was relief.

“Thanks dad.” He stood up looking at his father who gave him a warm firm hug.

Before he left the room his father asked. “Why now?”

“I was talking to someone then I realized I’ve to fix it. You’re my father and you’re a great doctor.”

There was a smile on his father. Benjamin nodded and walked out.

It could have been worse confronting his own past but it turned out well. He left the hospital sprightly. Benjamin looked at his watch found out it was four fifteen in the evening he wondered his doctor was free or not. Benjamin took a chance and rode to the hospital. He wanted to share this relief happiness moment with someone who was important to him.

Benjamin entered the hospital, the receptionist greeted him as usual, he turned to Bone & Joint Institute to find Dr. Corliss who was talking to the patient at the nurse counter. He waited until they were finished. His doctor looked at him surprisingly grinning as he approached to Benjamin.

“I thought you’re at Saint Joseph’s” Benjamin loved to see his doctor happy face because that was the time his blue eyes were the most beautiful. “It went well I presume? Or it was really bad and you want my comfort?”

“It went well.” Said Benjamin. “But I also want your comfort.” His last sentence was quiet as a wind.

“I think you mean a reward.” Dr. Corliss got into a point immediately. “Not here of cause. My place?” Benjamin hid his red face by nodding. “I don’t have an appointment so I’ll take a leave.”

“I…I can wait.”

“But I can’t” His doctor said it clear how much he wanted to be with Benjamin. He ran his fingers through Benjamin’s hair gently then went to talk to the nurse at the counter. 

The song from the radio inside Dr. Corliss’s car kept Benjamin’s heart beat steady. He tried to relax as much as he could not thinking about what was going to happen when they reached Dr. Corliss’s house.

Benjamin never had been there before. It was an apartment, tall and luxury, located in the city. The security greeted at them once they entered the building. Dr. Corliss pushed number 26 button. They were alone in the elevator and Benjamin could hear his own heartbeat. He wanted to shake his nerve off thinking about something else but watching his doctor from behind Benjamin could see his firm back, strong muscles. He was well – built. He was so handsome made Benjamin couldn’t shake off his nerve.

Dr. Corliss opened the door for him. Benjamin entered he could see how big this room was. Everything was nice and tidy. A wide window he could see the whole city. Benjamin was admiring the view, absorbing what was Dr. Corliss’s.

“Would you like something to drink?” He heard the doctor’s voice behind the white laminate counter.

“No. I’m fine.” Benjamin answered. He hoped his voice wasn’t sound so obvious.

Dr. Corliss came back from the kitchen he held Benjamin’s hand led him to the couch. His other hand was holding a glass of wine. They sat next to each other.

“You sure you don’t want a drink?” His doctor asked raising his glass near his lips.

It might get worse if he took a drink. Benjamin shook his head. Dr. Corliss gave him a friendly smile.

Benjamin was watching as his doctor was sipping his wine. He saw the purple red liquid dribbled into his mouth. His Adam’s apple rose up and down as he swallowed. It was like he was watching some sexy movie except this was real.

Dr. Corliss put his glass of wine on the coffee table. His gaze was back to Benjamin. He blushed without reason.

“Are you sure about this?”

“I want to be with you.” He said removing his doctor’s glasses, he looked younger. His blue eyes were more charming. “Can you still see me?”

“Of cause.” he smiled. “It’s just a prop.”  

Dr. Corliss leaned toward him. It started from a kiss, gently and softly. He pressed his lips against him. Benjamin opened his mouth anticipate letting his doctor’s tongue explored inside him. He never kissed anyone before didn’t know how to react but he loved when his doctor kissed him hard swirling his tongue inside him. It felt like something was running all over his body made his blood pumping.

The kiss moved from mouth to chin, to cheeks then his neck. Dr. Corliss unbuttoned his shirt ran along his fingers on his bare skin. His touch was warm. It was hot. It was tender and tickled.

“Do you want to go to bedroom?” His deep voice was hoarse. Benjamin nodded following him upstairs to the mezzanine floor where the king size bed was set.

Benjamin lay on the bed followed by his doctor. He removed Benjamin’s shirt admiring his bare skin. Benjamin felt the heat ran inside him staring by those blue eyes. He shivered as his doctor kissed him softly on his belly. His hands moved aside his body until he reached his belt. Dr. Corliss unlocked the belt, removing his pants down. He was naked in front of his doctor.

Benjamin’s face was so red his doctor kept watching his body. Especially when he was hard and ready for everything his doctor was going to give.

“You’re really soft and sweet.” Dr. Corliss murmured as he kissed Benjamin from neck to belly to his thigh. All his parts had been touched except one part that wanted to be touched most.       

Dr. Corliss dragged his tongue along his knee kissing lightly then he reached his ankle. Benjamin was still wearing ankle brace.

“Does it hurt?” He traced his fingers along its fabric.

“Not anymore” Benjamin answered. He barely recognized his own voice.

“Then I’ll take this off from you and I’ll take something else out of you too.” Benjamin followed his doctor’s gaze found out he was staring at his rock solid figure. He blushed and looked away. “Look at me Benjamin.”

He couldn’t resist his doctor ordered. It was the same feeling he got when his doctor asked him for lunch. Benjamin watched the doctor removed his ankle brace. It felt strange without it as if it became part of him. This ankle brace was a reason why he had to meet his doctor every week but now it was gone which meant Dr. Corliss wasn’t his doctor anymore.

He was healed by this man.

“Simon” Benjamin called reaching his hand to his lover, pulling him up and gave him a deep passionate kiss.

His doctor…Simon ran his hand down grabbed Benjamin’s erection. He twitched when Simon moved his hand along its length up and down, up and down. His heart racing, he dug his fingers through Simon’s hair while moving his hips followed the rhythm.

“Move your hips like that Benjamin.” His lover said hoarsely. “Faster. Faster.”

His deep commanding voice was a pleasant sound to hear especially when he said those dirty words. Benjamin couldn’t control himself. He was going to come. He almost there, he felt the ecstasy ran into his veins.

“Please.” He gasped. “I want you to cum with me.”

There was something coming inside him. Benjamin could felt the heat, the figure. It was hard. It was hot but it felt so right like they were meant to be together. Simon slid into him with one hard thrust. He was so large and hot inside him Benjamin could felt the pleasure ran through his spine. And then Simon started to move.

God! It. Was. Amazing!

They were moving so fast and so hard. Every time Simon slid inside him it was deeper and deeper touching Benjamin a place that never been touch before. He kept moaning and calling his lover’s name. Their hands were holding firmly. The ecstasy was coming to both of them like a wave of the ocean. They jerked and released their passion altogether.

Benjamin looked at his lover cupping his face wanted to stare at his sparkling blue eyes.

“Thank you” He panted.

Simon smiled kissing Benjamin on his lips. They were holding each other tenderly. Benjamin felt warmth and fulfillment. This man wasn’t only cured his ankle but also his wound from the past. He was recovered by his lovely doctor.