Hope in darkness

ลำดับตอนที่ #2 : "What is it my feeling?"

      My name is Kyaw. Many people asked me why I don’t ever have a girlfriend. The reason is I don’t wanna worry. I wanna live my life with a freedom. I’m bored to answer this question over and over again. Someone asked me " Are u gay?" I was very angry about this question. I have a heart too. I like beautiful women too. Its just I never had a girl but why despised me like that? I’m a good responsibility person. I’m sincerely. If I fall in love with someone I’ll take very serious. What if the one I love doesn’t love me? What if she left me? I better let my self to not worry about this kind of thing. Someone said I’m afraid of love. Yeah, so what? I’ve enough problems for my self. People never get enough, even love. They want more and more. It’s hard to find a faithful person.

      I’m now 21 years of age. I’m a student abroad in some country. Even though I’m living in the very different place from where I was but because of I lived together with my friends. There is so many of us so I don’t felt much the difference. The places looked every new to the eyes for us and a girls are so beautiful. (That’s what I like. Hehe!) :P

      Its two years now that I’ve been in this country. My English is much better then before. Now becomes summer. Before was windy and raining, such a terrible weather. At the weekend I went out to get sunlight and fresh air in the park. I saw a girl walking alone. She looked so sad. Seem like a have a broken heart or something. She is an Asian like me so, I went to talk with her.

       "Hi ya" I said. And smiled at her. She said hi and smiled back. Her face was so white and pale.

      "What’s your name?" I asked

      "Mo, and yours?"

      "Kyaw, nice to meet you" I said and smile. She smiled back me and said. "Nice to meet you too"

      "Nice weather" I said

      "Yeah, nice weather" she said and looked at me then she just laughing. Her face turned red so, I was laughing as well. I told her that she looked so cute when she laughed. I couldn’t believe that she said I looked cute too. (hahaha!) :P

       It’s 6 p.m. now but here is still has a sunshine. We walked along together, talking about stuff. She looked really sad so I tried my best to make her laugh. We are living in the same town but never see each other. I felt good that finally we’ve met. She made me feel very comfortable while we were talking. I just felt something special about her. Something that I couldn’t explain. She told me that she is now 16 years old. Yeah, that’s what I thought. She is too young.

      I looked at the time. It’s nearly 10 o’clock. The sky is still light but I think its time for this little girl to go home now but I wanna spent a little more time with her so I asked her for dinner. :P

      We went to the Super Mc. to get some burger then I walked her home.

In front of her apartment

      " Good night my sis" I said and she asked me "My sis?" ‘God what have I done? Is she going to refuse me?’ I thought

      "Yes my sister. You mind?" I said and she said she doesn’t mind so I laughed out cause I was happy. ^^

      "From now on I’m your brother and you are my lovely sister, ok? Here is my number" he gave her my phone number.

      " Don’t forget to call me." I said.

      "I won’t." She said then I said good bye to her and watched her go in side…

__________________________________________________________

      "Hey, you ok? I saw you stare at your phone so long." My roommate asked me

      "Ya, fine" I said

      "Ah, ok ok" he said and went out side.

      It’s a week now why she doesn’t call me? Does something happened or she forget me or what? I was so worry so I decided to go to her apartment. I don’t know which room she stayed and I couldn’t go inside be cause the door is locked. I was waiting there so long. Didn’t see her came in or out at all so I walked back to my apartment.

      "What’s wrong with u? a girl broke your heart or something?" one of my friends said.

      "Hey, don’t you forgot he doesn’t have a girlfriend" the other one said and then they laughing. I said nothing just went in the kitchen opened the fridge then get some beer to drink in the sitting room. When I was in the sitting room everyone was quiet and looked at me then some of my friend said.

      "Hey, why don’t you call us?"

      "Hell yeah, let’s get some more beers" the other said and then everyone was drinking beers together.

The Next day

      " Kyaw, whats wrong with you yesterday?" my friends asked

      "I don’t know, its just felt like drinking" I said. I really don’t know whats wrong with me. I’ve never been like this before. I really don’t understand.

      It’s vacation now. I have nothing much to do. I still waiting for the little girl to call but still no sign of her. Where have she been? Its nearly 2 weeks now I never seen her. I went for a walk outside alone, going to the same places where we were together cause I thought I might see her there. I was tired of walking so I sitting down on the grass.

      Sitting here alone, watching time pass by and thinking
‘Why doesn’t she come back, it's been awhile since she has been gone.
She still has someone who, waits from every single night to the mornin'
What's the reason, that she went away…?’

      "Ice cream?" some girl said and gave me the ice cream. I looked who she was and said "My sis!" ^o^