ลำดับตอนที่ #2
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ลำดับตอนที่ #2 : Lethal Desires[English Version]
*Trigger warnings*
15th June 20xx
On a rainy day, the world doesn’ t seem to be on my side. It was 9am in the morning, but the clouds and weather are nightmares like endless dreams. I woke up with the heartaches as usual, I walked down the corridor. The pictures of my art are also hanging there. It is filled with emotions and the lifeless body. ‘Red’ is the main theme of those portraits. I was filled with happiness and the most colorful things in my life when I ended their lives. But today…I felt listless again, those nightmares are still in my head. The same routine rerun again and again, everyday.
In the bathroom, sedatives are all over the place. None of them are taken. I looked at the mirror and saw myself…touching the mirror softly and sighing. What lifeless eyes, why I could see that colorful picture when..I killed them. I heard someone say that when you grow up, your surroundings will become smaller. But why I felt that the worlds are still too big for me to live.
I wandered around the streets without an umbrella, not knowing the time. Looking at the kittens hiding under the box to cover themselves from these acid waters. They are just like me, scared and weak. I continue to walk along the way until my legs feel numb. I questioned life and asked what it is to be a human. I sat down on the sidewalk, not knowing where I was. Sitting down with an empty soul and heart. I didn't know how long I sat there, but I felt that the water from the sky didn't hurt me anymore. I looked up and saw a girl holding an umbrella for me. I felt weird in the chest, my heart started to become alive again. She had hair of golden silk, with the soft and warm tone of skin color. Her lips are pink as the cherry blossoms. She had red-like ruby's eyes, like a magic in the eyes that even the stars envied.
1st July 20xx
Click—
The shutter’ s sounds begin when I press the button on my camera, while aiming at the window in the middle of the night. After I found a girl with an umbrella, my heart skipped a beat. I followed and noted all the information about her. She had the same routine every week. Rarely spends time with her friends. I waited for her every evening…took a photo of her from every angle that I could. I’ m satisfied with all the results that I create. I hummed a song and walked away in the midst of the clouds.
In my mansion, the room is filled with a red crimson liquid and my artwork, with the atmosphere and smell of the Slaughter Room. What a perfect place to maintain my paintings. I walk down the room to see my materials, a little woman is lying on this cold floor breathing poorly. Her body is filled with wounds that I made. I grabbed a blade from the table and dragged her out of the corner. Her screams are as soft as a little nightingale. I tied her up in front of my canvas, oh my little prey…you are going to be one of my most precious art. I slowly cut down on her neck until she could not even make a single sound. Her eyes wide open in shock and the tears slowly burst out. I cut her chest open to see that little organ that was moving, it was beating. To think of the humans, they could not handle this much wounds and damage. She slowly lost her ability to breathe while I was watching the scene. I walk a few steps to turn on the record player, for my favorite songs. I pick up the brushes and dip it down on her open body. I’ m dancing around like a swan that loves to swim along and make beautiful memories of the lake. I sang the songs that I love and started to paint on the canvas, the portraits of my latest prey.
15th September 20xx
I woke up with excitement on my face, today was different. I quickly dressed up and grabbed a big red rose bouquet on the table, its colors are as lovely as her eyes. While rushing off the room I stopped and looked at the mirror. I dressed in a gray short sleeve shirt with a black pants. I want to look as good as possible when I’ m with her.
I saw her from a distance. She was waiting for me in front of the train station. When I walked up to her she turned and looked at me, we made eye contact with each other. My body froze with a heart beating fast. Her eyes, her eyes hold everything I thirsts for.
We knew each other for months, I followed her and knew that she was doing a job at the cafe near my mansion. I started to visit her everyday, and we grew closer and closer together. She was the sunlight falling through my darkness world, the laughter that breaks through my sadness. Even though she was not the world, but she is everything that makes the world good…oh my lady, you made me feel more excited than those prey.
“Hey, what's on your mind? We better have a great time together instead.” She grabbed my hand and said with a worried tone.
I saw someone looking at us ,disgusted, of course two females should not be dating together. I didn’ t think of it much, I’ m used to the way people look at me already.. I turned to the girl beside me to check if she was alright or not. Her mood suddenly went down. Oh girl…I wish I could slay those people for you.
31st December 20xx
The last day of the year…I invite her to celebrate at my place. She looks happy. I felt warmth in the heart when she smiled at me. I gave her a bouquet as usual. We held each other’ s hand and made hot chocolate together. We sat in the living room watching movies. While you enjoy the movie, it is me that is watching you. Again, I felt the warmth. One question pops up in my head, is she really different from others?
I look at the clock that was hanging on the wall, it is almost the last couple minutes before ending the year. I offer her a hand to dance together in this warm atmosphere. Her hands held me tightly with excitement. My lady, you have accepted to dance with me in this pale moonlight.
Suddenly, she was coughing, harder and harder. I’ m looking worried, so I quickly grab a glass of water for her. When I realized that, she was coughing up blood. The pearl white dress is ruined by her own blood. My hands are shaking and my head is spinning. She falls down on the cold wooden floor. I held her in my arms, terrifying. She looks suffering, is this an illness? Why did she hide this from me?
I felt like my heart was breaking. I breathe hardly and barely see the images in front. She raises her hand and touches softly on my face. Oh my lady, your hand felt as warm as the summer breeze. She spoke softly to me as usual…
” Do you know that…everyone has a part inside that aches with sadness, sometimes you just can’ t hide it.” She comforts me.
’ W-why did you say that all of a sudden!?’ My voice are shaking
“The first day that I found you, you were shining from the beginning. Not the monster that others saw.”
‘You know nothing, even the fact that- ‘I gave up the words and didn’ t say anything after.
” The fact that you were the serial killer? That you made the paintings by the victim's blood?” She giggles softly.
” In fact, I was scared in the beginning, scared that you might kill me someday. But you know…It is only with the heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.” She closed her eyes and explained everything.
My tears ran down my face, I couldn’ t say anything. She turned to look at the bouquet that I gave her everyday. Then continue to say.
” Elysia…I love you, please let me love you in every other life” I looked down in her eyes, I saw the souls, the most beautiful ruby, the warm summer and endless dreams that came true. My tears ran down on my face, all the emotions that I have lost, came back to me in the last minutes. Every emotion is unlocked when I hear my name, the sweetest voice that I could only hear in heaven.
1st January 20xx
The room was filled with silence, with me and the lifeless body of someone that called me her lover. She passed away in my arms, on the last day of December. I looked out the window and saw…the first snow of the year. You don’ t have any chance to see it with me. Then I turn to look at the bouquet…the poison bouquet that will slowly kill the victims. I planned to make her to be my perfect art, no scratch will be on her body. I grabbed my chest, that was the same place where my heart is. The pain that ran through my veins and body was killing me. I’ m crying with the sorrow that could not be described in words. I can’ t hear any of my voice. All I could think about was the moments that I’ m with you, your smiles, your voice, your warmth, your hug that gives me a soul. I never felt and learned what feeling is. I stared at the lifeless body in front of me. Her skin starts to lose its color. She still has the brightest smiles on her face, it is still the smiles that break through my sadness. I remembered the conversation that we had.
“Have you heard about the symbols of rosemary?” she asks while we are having dinner together.
‘What do you mean by that? Did they make a steak or something?’ I giggled and replied to her.
“Oh come on silly, rosemary is the symbol of remembrance and eternity. Great meanings right?” She laughs and smiles.
’ …Then I will give you a rosemary, and remember you for eternity. In every lifetime’ I looked at her with a serious expression. I promise to keep her in my memories forever.
The memories that always haunted me. I am certain that we are written endlessly through time and space. Somewhere beyond the past and future. I will be with you. Constantly. In every lifetime.
I carry her in my arms, holding and embracing her. I brush her hair off her pale face. I’ m holding her with unknown emotions. I take her to my bedroom, placing her on the comfiest bed I could find for her. I took a wet towel to wipe all the crimson liquid on her face. Change her dress. I sat down beside her, pat her head softly. My tears ran down on my face again, I felt the emptiness in my chest. I couldn’ t feel the warmth from her anymore. I prayed for the gods that I never believed, I’ m praying that I could revive her and make her to be mine again. I wish that everything was a nightmare, prey that actually I never knew her, that I never wanted to kill her. I wish that we could have a happy ending together. I want to hold you tight in my arms, look deeply in her eyes and discover new feelings that I could never know. I want to embrace every moment that we have. Take her to every place that she wishes to go. I wanted to see her every morning when I woke up, and even the last person I want to see when I go to sleep. But now…you aren’ t even smiling and look up to me again. The worst feelings to have is when only me can remember everything. I said everything that I always wanted to say to her…
” Ruby..” I whisper her name
” You mean the words I once could not find, but now are with me every second of the day. You are my peace, my calm and my shelter from the storms I had to endure before on my own. You mean as much to me as the stars mean to the sky. You are how I find my way home..” I stopped for a second, then continued asking the question.
“Ruby please wake up and tell me, is this what you called love..?”
End
The content contains blood, murdering, stalking, organs etc.
15th June 20xx
On a rainy day, the world doesn’ t seem to be on my side. It was 9am in the morning, but the clouds and weather are nightmares like endless dreams. I woke up with the heartaches as usual, I walked down the corridor. The pictures of my art are also hanging there. It is filled with emotions and the lifeless body. ‘Red’ is the main theme of those portraits. I was filled with happiness and the most colorful things in my life when I ended their lives. But today…I felt listless again, those nightmares are still in my head. The same routine rerun again and again, everyday.
In the bathroom, sedatives are all over the place. None of them are taken. I looked at the mirror and saw myself…touching the mirror softly and sighing. What lifeless eyes, why I could see that colorful picture when..I killed them. I heard someone say that when you grow up, your surroundings will become smaller. But why I felt that the worlds are still too big for me to live.
I wandered around the streets without an umbrella, not knowing the time. Looking at the kittens hiding under the box to cover themselves from these acid waters. They are just like me, scared and weak. I continue to walk along the way until my legs feel numb. I questioned life and asked what it is to be a human. I sat down on the sidewalk, not knowing where I was. Sitting down with an empty soul and heart. I didn't know how long I sat there, but I felt that the water from the sky didn't hurt me anymore. I looked up and saw a girl holding an umbrella for me. I felt weird in the chest, my heart started to become alive again. She had hair of golden silk, with the soft and warm tone of skin color. Her lips are pink as the cherry blossoms. She had red-like ruby's eyes, like a magic in the eyes that even the stars envied.
1st July 20xx
Click—
The shutter’ s sounds begin when I press the button on my camera, while aiming at the window in the middle of the night. After I found a girl with an umbrella, my heart skipped a beat. I followed and noted all the information about her. She had the same routine every week. Rarely spends time with her friends. I waited for her every evening…took a photo of her from every angle that I could. I’ m satisfied with all the results that I create. I hummed a song and walked away in the midst of the clouds.
In my mansion, the room is filled with a red crimson liquid and my artwork, with the atmosphere and smell of the Slaughter Room. What a perfect place to maintain my paintings. I walk down the room to see my materials, a little woman is lying on this cold floor breathing poorly. Her body is filled with wounds that I made. I grabbed a blade from the table and dragged her out of the corner. Her screams are as soft as a little nightingale. I tied her up in front of my canvas, oh my little prey…you are going to be one of my most precious art. I slowly cut down on her neck until she could not even make a single sound. Her eyes wide open in shock and the tears slowly burst out. I cut her chest open to see that little organ that was moving, it was beating. To think of the humans, they could not handle this much wounds and damage. She slowly lost her ability to breathe while I was watching the scene. I walk a few steps to turn on the record player, for my favorite songs. I pick up the brushes and dip it down on her open body. I’ m dancing around like a swan that loves to swim along and make beautiful memories of the lake. I sang the songs that I love and started to paint on the canvas, the portraits of my latest prey.
15th September 20xx
I woke up with excitement on my face, today was different. I quickly dressed up and grabbed a big red rose bouquet on the table, its colors are as lovely as her eyes. While rushing off the room I stopped and looked at the mirror. I dressed in a gray short sleeve shirt with a black pants. I want to look as good as possible when I’ m with her.
I saw her from a distance. She was waiting for me in front of the train station. When I walked up to her she turned and looked at me, we made eye contact with each other. My body froze with a heart beating fast. Her eyes, her eyes hold everything I thirsts for.
We knew each other for months, I followed her and knew that she was doing a job at the cafe near my mansion. I started to visit her everyday, and we grew closer and closer together. She was the sunlight falling through my darkness world, the laughter that breaks through my sadness. Even though she was not the world, but she is everything that makes the world good…oh my lady, you made me feel more excited than those prey.
“Hey, what's on your mind? We better have a great time together instead.” She grabbed my hand and said with a worried tone.
I saw someone looking at us ,disgusted, of course two females should not be dating together. I didn’ t think of it much, I’ m used to the way people look at me already.. I turned to the girl beside me to check if she was alright or not. Her mood suddenly went down. Oh girl…I wish I could slay those people for you.
31st December 20xx
The last day of the year…I invite her to celebrate at my place. She looks happy. I felt warmth in the heart when she smiled at me. I gave her a bouquet as usual. We held each other’ s hand and made hot chocolate together. We sat in the living room watching movies. While you enjoy the movie, it is me that is watching you. Again, I felt the warmth. One question pops up in my head, is she really different from others?
I look at the clock that was hanging on the wall, it is almost the last couple minutes before ending the year. I offer her a hand to dance together in this warm atmosphere. Her hands held me tightly with excitement. My lady, you have accepted to dance with me in this pale moonlight.
Suddenly, she was coughing, harder and harder. I’ m looking worried, so I quickly grab a glass of water for her. When I realized that, she was coughing up blood. The pearl white dress is ruined by her own blood. My hands are shaking and my head is spinning. She falls down on the cold wooden floor. I held her in my arms, terrifying. She looks suffering, is this an illness? Why did she hide this from me?
I felt like my heart was breaking. I breathe hardly and barely see the images in front. She raises her hand and touches softly on my face. Oh my lady, your hand felt as warm as the summer breeze. She spoke softly to me as usual…
” Do you know that…everyone has a part inside that aches with sadness, sometimes you just can’ t hide it.” She comforts me.
’ W-why did you say that all of a sudden!?’ My voice are shaking
“The first day that I found you, you were shining from the beginning. Not the monster that others saw.”
‘You know nothing, even the fact that- ‘I gave up the words and didn’ t say anything after.
” The fact that you were the serial killer? That you made the paintings by the victim's blood?” She giggles softly.
” In fact, I was scared in the beginning, scared that you might kill me someday. But you know…It is only with the heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.” She closed her eyes and explained everything.
My tears ran down my face, I couldn’ t say anything. She turned to look at the bouquet that I gave her everyday. Then continue to say.
” Elysia…I love you, please let me love you in every other life” I looked down in her eyes, I saw the souls, the most beautiful ruby, the warm summer and endless dreams that came true. My tears ran down on my face, all the emotions that I have lost, came back to me in the last minutes. Every emotion is unlocked when I hear my name, the sweetest voice that I could only hear in heaven.
1st January 20xx
The room was filled with silence, with me and the lifeless body of someone that called me her lover. She passed away in my arms, on the last day of December. I looked out the window and saw…the first snow of the year. You don’ t have any chance to see it with me. Then I turn to look at the bouquet…the poison bouquet that will slowly kill the victims. I planned to make her to be my perfect art, no scratch will be on her body. I grabbed my chest, that was the same place where my heart is. The pain that ran through my veins and body was killing me. I’ m crying with the sorrow that could not be described in words. I can’ t hear any of my voice. All I could think about was the moments that I’ m with you, your smiles, your voice, your warmth, your hug that gives me a soul. I never felt and learned what feeling is. I stared at the lifeless body in front of me. Her skin starts to lose its color. She still has the brightest smiles on her face, it is still the smiles that break through my sadness. I remembered the conversation that we had.
“Have you heard about the symbols of rosemary?” she asks while we are having dinner together.
‘What do you mean by that? Did they make a steak or something?’ I giggled and replied to her.
“Oh come on silly, rosemary is the symbol of remembrance and eternity. Great meanings right?” She laughs and smiles.
’ …Then I will give you a rosemary, and remember you for eternity. In every lifetime’ I looked at her with a serious expression. I promise to keep her in my memories forever.
The memories that always haunted me. I am certain that we are written endlessly through time and space. Somewhere beyond the past and future. I will be with you. Constantly. In every lifetime.
I carry her in my arms, holding and embracing her. I brush her hair off her pale face. I’ m holding her with unknown emotions. I take her to my bedroom, placing her on the comfiest bed I could find for her. I took a wet towel to wipe all the crimson liquid on her face. Change her dress. I sat down beside her, pat her head softly. My tears ran down on my face again, I felt the emptiness in my chest. I couldn’ t feel the warmth from her anymore. I prayed for the gods that I never believed, I’ m praying that I could revive her and make her to be mine again. I wish that everything was a nightmare, prey that actually I never knew her, that I never wanted to kill her. I wish that we could have a happy ending together. I want to hold you tight in my arms, look deeply in her eyes and discover new feelings that I could never know. I want to embrace every moment that we have. Take her to every place that she wishes to go. I wanted to see her every morning when I woke up, and even the last person I want to see when I go to sleep. But now…you aren’ t even smiling and look up to me again. The worst feelings to have is when only me can remember everything. I said everything that I always wanted to say to her…
” Ruby..” I whisper her name
” You mean the words I once could not find, but now are with me every second of the day. You are my peace, my calm and my shelter from the storms I had to endure before on my own. You mean as much to me as the stars mean to the sky. You are how I find my way home..” I stopped for a second, then continued asking the question.
“Ruby please wake up and tell me, is this what you called love..?”
End
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