ลำดับตอนที่ #10
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ลำดับตอนที่ #10 : Ch31: Need to open my mind
"Type... Type! Where are you?"
"I'm here... Mom."
"Here where?"
"Up here."
It's a late afternoon and Type was sweating like crazy from working under the sun. But then his mother called out for him around the resort. So he had to stop and answered his mother. Because Type's mother looked quite mad from looking around the resort for him. Of course, she couldn't find him. He was working up there above the ground.
"What are you doing up there on the roof?"
Type was fixing the roof.
"This one was leaked. Dad wants me to cover it with some wooden board until the roofer comes to fix it."
"Nah... Let the roofer take care of it. Come on down. I don't want you to fall down."
His mother was worried and ordered him to come down from the roof. Type shook his head.
"I cannot. If it's raining again tonight, our customers will complain. Besides our rooms are full. We do not have any other available for them to change the room."
Type explained. He wanted to at least, cover the leak. It's better than doing nothing.
"So... What's up, Mom?"
Type wiped his sweat and saw his mother's grey puddle barking and jumping around his mother.
"What's the matter with Lichee? Why is he barking nonstop like that?"
He used Lichee to lie to PuiFai to get attention by saying that Lichee was dead. So he fell sorry and had to be nice to Lichee.
"No idea... Right... Your friend's here to see you."
"Who?"
Type frowned. He didn't tell anyone about this trip and nobody knows he came back home.
"It's me."
Who is 'me'?
Type tried to look for whoever answered his question and found out the reason why Lichee kept barking. His friend waved a little to Type.
"Hey!!! Khom!!!"
"Ha Ha Ha... Yes... It's me."
Type yelled out as soon as he saw Khom, his childhood best friend.
Khom is one of Type's childhood best friend from elementary school. Their houses were close. They were in the same school and hanged out together a lot since they were young. Until Type moved to a university in Bangkok and Khom chose to study in the city area of their province. But whenever Type came back home, they always get together.
But...
"You look different."
"Handsomer?"
Type had to admit he agreed with Khom. His best friend used to be just a rural teenager who's completely naturally simple. Dark skin with those perfect white teeth. But at that moment, Type fell Khom look so much better than before. Nicer skin and gain more muscles.
"Don't let me start it. I don't want to make you cry with the truth."
Type teased his best friend and smile while climbing down the stairs. While he walked to his best friend, Khom took a better look at Type.
"And, you become a city guy."
"Hell no. What are you talking about?"
Type laughed at himself in that sweaty black a-shirt and dirty shorts. He dressed like a labor worker. Not a 'city guy' like Khom said at all. And that made Khom laughed at him.
"Aura... Perhaps. By the way, got a leaking roof?"
"Yeah... I don't know how many of them though."
Tiwat pointed at the holes he found on the roof.
"Right. We had a storm last night... Let me take a look."
Type knitted his eyebrows and looked at Khom.
"What? I'm studying in an Engineering school... Besides your dad just asked my dad to fix it and told me you came back home. My dad has a busy schedule today, so he asked me to take a look first. He wants me to fix if that's possible."
Khom explained while climbing up the stair fastly.
"You boys have a chat. And Khom, stay for a dinner tonight, Ok?"
Type's mother talked to Khom and picked up the dirty barker with her.
"Thank you, Auntie."
She walked back to her kitchen while Type climbed back up to the roof with his best friend. He looked at Khom professionally check of the roof. While Khom was telling about his story and Type has to give back some of his stories. Until this topic.
"I have a date. We met last year."
Khom started the new topic while Type became his assistant fixing the roof.
"Wow. That's cool."
"Ha Ha Ha. What about you? Look at you now. Becoming a good looking dude. I still remembered you as a tiny guy, but now you are freaking tall."
Khom laughed while talking, but that topic surely made Type thinking of someone in Bangkok.
What if I tell Khom that I'm not that attractive to girls, but gays?
"I'm talking with someone now."
Tiwat tried to answer which he knew so well that he's dating. Not just talking. How many times they had sex? But a homophobic like him would never be revealed about these facts to anyone.
'From now on?' That phrase definitely made Type pause completely. Would he never tell anyone that he's dating a guy? Did it have to be a secret until the last day of his life? Type repeatedly rethink about this question over and over until he felt hurt on his heart.
Am I hurting Tharn again?
Type had to turn his face away from his friend. Because Khom knew him since he was very young and he was in his life when that happened. And Khom knew so well that he hated gay very much. However, taking his words back would never happen to Type. And by turning his face to the other direction made him see something.
"What the fuck is he looking at?"
"Hmm? Who?"
Khom stopped fixing the roof and looked at the way Type pointed to.
"That white guy has been staring at me for days."
A taller friend told his friend about what was going on in his life. That white guy wore only a pair of shorts, not looked at the beach, but stared at Type. He waved to Type when he saw that both guys were looking back at him.
(Tsh Tsh)
Type had to keep his manner because after all, he's one of the guests from this resort. But Khom waved back positively and laughed at Type.
"You are still being attractive to men."
"Shut the fuxk up, Khom. Or else I'll kick you out from the roof. And stop saying something creepy like that... Ever again."
Type was acting like he was about to kick Khom, but Khom kept laughing and that drove Type even madder. Type knew so well that this must be his own destiny. He was always be surrounded by gays.
"Oh, come on. Better have more admirers than haters. Besides, that's a guest from your resort, isn't he? You are such a target for these 'Rice lovers'."
Note: Rice lovers = Foreigners, especially the westerns, who love Asian.
Khom teased his best friend while checking out Type's body.
"I wish they are all disappeared."
Type seemed mad when he saw that white guy checking out on him.
Is this my destiny? Cannot get away from these people?
Khom saw Type was mad for real so he stopped the tease and changed the subject.
"Right... Will you join me in a party the day after tomorrow?"
"What party?"
Type was still mad at that white guy and trying so hard not to give him a middle finger. While Khom thought Type was kidding.
"For real, dude? It's a full moon party. A world-famous party here on our island."
"Oh...!?!?"
Type completely forgot about this famous party most of the tourism wish they came to see with their own eyes at least once in their lifetime is set on his island.
"Wanna go with me?"
Khom asked and Type paused a little.
"Ok... What time?"
There are both sides to this party, a bright one and a dark one. If Type looked at the bright side, it's a fun party. For Type, he wanted to see girls in those bikinis.
At 8 PM on the full moon night, Tiwat rode his dad's motorbike to the beach. It's the location for hosting the famous party.
"Type... Type... Park here."
It took only a few minutes to get there and when his best friend saw him, Khom yelled out his name.
"Hey, Type... Long-time no see."
"Evening, Auntie. How's the business?"
"Good. Usually, clear up before midnight."
Type greeted to Khom's aunt, who'd been super busy selling some foods at the party. She laughed at Type. While Khom handed him some glow paint color.
"Want some?"
Type took some and applied it to his body. He's not actually a fan of this stuff, but this can be helpful in the dark so people knew where he was. And, of course, Type was kind of hyped from seeing so many girls in bikinis putting those paint on her breasts right in front of him.
"Oh wow... Really?"
Khom laughed because Type wrote the word "D I C K" (in Thai) on his body.
"Auntie, can I leave my motorbike here with you?"
"Sure. Don't worry, kiddo."
Type and Khom left and walked down the pathway to the beach. The sounds of music were so loud and they heard it from afar. It was truly boosting up their young hot blood to raise. Type went into a group of young people jumping up around with strangers he never met before, but surely they were all having a good time.
"It's good to be back home."
Type yelled out to his best friend. Khom laughed while dancing with a big group of foreigners.
"Come back more often then. Not just twice a year."
Khom yelled back and Type laughed. It was true. Specifically, in the past years, Type hardly came back home. He spent time during high school with studying and after admitted into the college, he had been busy with 'someone'.
Tharn will surely love this party.
Type suddenly felt strange and missed Tharn. He looked around and saw many people around him clearer. He could tell how many of them were gays and how many of them had already accidentally touched him while dancing, but, strange, Type didn't feel disgusted as he was before in the past. Something had changed. As long as they didn't do anything obvious to him, he would just ignore them.
Type believed Tharn would love this party because there are so many guys as his type. And the music was so loud and the surrounding fun environment.
I should ask him to join when I come back home next time... Or maybe not.
Type saw his best friend, Khom. Type shook that idea out of his head because if Tharn was here. Khom would know their relationship.
Sorry, Tharn. You have to continue being my 'Secret from the city'.
"Khom. I'll go get some beer."
Type felt a little tired and needed something to drink. Khom nodded and pointed to some direction.
"Over there is cheaper. The stall around here is way to fuxking expensive."
"Have you forgotten that I'm from around here too?"
Type teased his best friend back, laughed, and walked to the direction Khom pointed. The drinks around the stage area were so expensive. While Type was walking to a beverage stall.
"HI"
Someone greeted him from behind, so Type turned around and found the source of that voice. It's the white guy who stalked him for days.
"I'M ALAN. I STAY AT YOUR RESORT."
Nobody asks for your name.
Type said that in his head. There were two bottles of drink in his hands and he seemed to check on Type out again.
"Ok."
Better not to talk to him in English. Let pretend I'm not good at English.
Actually, Type wanted to walk away, but he was a guest of his family's business anyway. So all Type did was smiling awkwardly and uncomfortably. Subtly telling him that Type wasn't comfortable talking to him, but he seemed resisted.
"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"
"TYPE"
That's an easy question in English. An elementary kid could answer that. So he had to answer. Then he handed a bottle of beer to Type.
"CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?"
If you planned to hand me a drink, why do you have to ask?
"THANKS"
At that moment, Type was trying so hard to calm down because he started to feel disgusted again. The only reason he accepted that drink because of his father. Alan tried to move closer to Type, but Type moved away from him.
Easy... Type... Easy...
(Grab)
FUXK!
Type lost his patient as soon as Alan friendly wrapped his arm around Type. But Type hadn't thrown any fist on Alan's face yet. Alan bent to whisper into one of Type's ear with the voice he thought it was 'sexy'.
"I HAVE BEEN LOOKING AT YOU FOR A FEW DAYS NOW. I THINK... YOU'RE SO HOT."
(!!!)
All hairs on Type's body stood up. It was very creepy for Type.
"YOU'RE VERY HOT."
Fuxk! I cannot handle this anymore.
"Hey Type!!!"
Before Type was about to punch at that creep, his best friend walked to see him. So Type stood up, unwrapped his arm, handed that bottle back, and smile with an extremely friendly feeling.
"Go fuck yourself, you creepy piece of shit. Faggot."
Of course, Type spoke that in Thai while he was smiling to Alan. Of course, Alan didn't understand, but many Thai people around that area looked right at Type. Khom knew immediately what was going on to Type, so he pulled Type out from that area.
"SORRY... OUR FRIENDS ARE WAITING FOR US."
Khom politely excused and pulled Type away from that beach because Type started to swear more and more sentences out. And that caught gay people's attention.
"I wish they are all dead... Those faggots. Those creeps. Those pieces of shit. What do they think I am? A cum dump bucket? If he's not one of my family's customer, I'll kick his ass and beat him up until he cannot fuck anyone anymore. Those faggots..."
All the way from that beach to a quiet corner, Type kept swearing nonstop and didn't see that Khom had already been strangely quiet.
"Those creeps. I rather sleep in a pile of pig's shit than letting them touch me. Fuxk!"
Type rubbed his hands so hard. Those creepy feelings in the past years came back again. It confirmed to Type that...
But Tharn doesn't give me this feeling.
Type calmed down instantly when he thought of Tharn. He suddenly feel a little sorry for what he swore earlier.
I wasn't swearing at Tharn. Tharn doesn't like those faggots. So, I'm not swearing at my boyfriend!
"Type... I have something to tell you."
"What?"
Type wasn't really in the complete calm mode yet answering Khom, but he saw his best friend's sad face.
"What's going on? Khom."
Type calmly asked his best friend.
"I have something to confess."
Khom replied lightly. It was too light so Type had to walk closer to Khom.
"What's the matter? Are you saying that I'm too harsh to them? It's ok. I was swearing at gays. But you are not one of them, so don't take it personally."
Type tried to explain to his best friend, but when Khom replied shocking and stunning him.
"But I'm one of them."
!!!
"What did you say?"
Type asked Khom again. Khom gave Type a sorry smile and said.
"Type... I'm gay."
"!!!"
Type was completely shocked. His best friend since they were very young just confessed to him that he is gay. Type absolutely had no clue and totally shocked. Khom couldn't look at Type's face at all.
"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I didn't plan to tell you at all because I know you hate gays. But a few minutes ago, when you swore and cursed on them... I lost it. You have no idea how many times I have to listen to these types of swear or curses. How long do I have to take these and swallow them in? I feel like I want to yell it out loud to the world that I'M GAY... and I'm not that type of gay you hate. Why can't you just accept gay individually?"
Khom let his deep feeling came out and it hurt Type. Because he was truly harsh to Khom too from those mean words.
"Type... I'm not asking you to understand. And I know confessing this to you may cause you to stop being friend with me. But at least, I need my best friend to accept who I am."
Type had no idea how to react with that situation. Khom gave Type a forcing smile.
"I believe I'm asking for something hardly possible. I'm sorry, buddy, that I'm gay."
"..."
Khom finished his conversation and walked back to the group of tourists. For Type, he was standing there feeling shocked. It was like a big bullet shooting right into his heart.
Sorry that I'm gay.
That phase stunned Type and he couldn't breathe normally.
Being gay... is not a choice, isn't it? And why are you apologizing to me?
Type rubbed his face with his hands. He never had a gay friend before in his life. So he had no idea what gay really means. Because of the tragedy that happened to him when he was very young was haunting him. So he kept telling everyone that he hates gay. He hates every gay... except Tharn.
Until that moment. The moment that his childhood best friend confessing to him that he's gay. That made Type think if he should still hate all gays? Because he never hates his best friend.
"Why do you have to apologize? You didn't do anything wrong, Khom."
Khom never did anything sexually to him. Khom never made him feel uncomfortable. He's the only friend who kept staying beside him since they were very young. But he had just hurt his only best friend.
"FUXK!!!"
Type swore again and turned around. Not to run after his best friend, but toward his dad's motorbike. He didn't even answer Khom's aunt. It wasn't fun anymore. Type just want to go back home and sat quietly.
Did I just hurt Khom?
Type felt so bad from what he just did to his best friend.
Fuxk... How does he know?
Someone called Type after he arrived at home before he even got into his bedroom.
"What?"
Even though he felt so terribly sad, Type still took that call and replied with an annoyed voice. It didn't matter what tone of voice that Type was using because someone on the other end was laughing.
The laugh that unbelievably relaxed Type's feeling.
["Nothing. Just wanna check up on you. How are you doing over there? It's been 2 weeks already."]
"Good. Helping my dad with the resort. Hanging around to bother my mom. Jumping into the sea sometimes."
Type answered. He was deciding whether he should share that story with Tharn. While Tharn was telling Type how much he envied Type's life, Type stopped Tharn.
"I went to the full-moon party today."
["Oh right. You told me about that party. You are on the Phangan islands. How was it? Having a good time?"]
Tharn stopped laughing and asked Type with a serious tone of voice. And that surprised Type. It was like Tharn knew he just did something wrong. That paused Type too.
["Did you fool around with some girls there?"]
There you go! That serious voice comes out because he thought I was fooling with a girl.
Type wanted to tease Tharn by saying yes, but he wasn't into that mood. So he shook his head and replied.
"No... But there was a creepy gay telling me that I AM SO HOT."
Type normally be mad whenever he mentioned something like this, but not at that moment. His best friend's confession was still running in his head at that moment. Yet Tharn still seriously needed more information about it.
["What did you do or say back to him?"]
"Asshole! What do you think I did? I told him to go fuxk himself and go to hell. Why? Do you think that I would go out with that creep?"
Type was angry as soon as he heard that question from Tharn. He felt insulted by his boyfriend. But that made Tharn felt more relief.
["Sorry... I just... I don't know... It's because you don't know that you are really HOT."]
"Want me to beat you as soon as I see your face?"
Type threatened Tharn. He still felt uncomfortable that he was so HOT for guys instead of girls. But from this conversation, Type felt more relaxed to talk to Tharn.
"Let's stop talking about that creep. How's your semester break so far?"
Actually, Type wanted to tell Tharn about his best friend's story, but his guilty feeling changed his mind. He didn't want to mention it at that moment.
Guilty to swear on gays... swear on his boyfriend... and most importantly swear on his best friend.
I don't know what to say anymore.
Type decided to change the topic. As a matter of fact, Type never wanted to know about Tharn's life. Because deep down, Type knows Tharn is not that type of Gay. He never cheats on him. He never touches anyone besides him. Type trusts him. And that strangely happened inside Type's mind.
["Nothing much. I went to practice on campus. And also I'm forming a new band. So we need to rehearse a lot more. We took some jobs at P'Jeed's pub and some friends asked me to teach the high school kids. They wanted to apply for my major. But I don't feel like I'm ready to be a tutor for anyone. And hang out with my family... My little sister. That's it."]
Type was almost laughing out when Tharn mentioned his baby sister. Type couldn't imagine what a big guy can do while hanging out with that precious little girl.
["When will you come back?"]
"Why?"
Type also wanted to know the answer for that question. Type planned to go back before the semester started, but then what happened an hour ago forced him to leave as soon as possible. He needed to be back in his safe place. The place that he can be himself with Tharn.
["I miss you."]
!!!
It was like Type's head was completely empty after hearing that. The only one word Type replied was...
"Asshole."
!!!
As soon as Type replied he hung up and turned off his phone. Type tossed it into his bed and lied down on his bed covering his face with both hands.
What the fuck!?!?!
Type wanted to pull out all of his hair on his head, but then he realized Tharn wasn't listening to him at that moment. He murmured...
"I miss you too."
Of course, Tharn would never hear that sentence from Type at that moment. But only a few minutes conversation surely helped Type a lot. Type felt so relax and didn't have any nightmare at that night. Only one dream he had at that night was the touch of warm body from the person who just told him that... he missed Type.
********** END OF "THARN-TYPE's STORY" Book I **********
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