When I am left alone in the empty world

เนื้อเรื่อง

Everyone in this world was not born to be perfect. We were born on this earth for searching the truth of our life not to being perfect.  This is what I have learned from being left by my best friends. I am an unsuccessful human for being the Perfect. This is my story.

            In this semester, I had to register an Educational Research Course. I personally don’t like such kinds of the course because it’s a boring matter for me, and I’m not good at any researches. This was my problem. Even though how much my dislike to this course was, eventually I had no excuse to register for it.

            Every course always has its own nature, and it’s also like to the nature of this course. All pupils registering to study this course had to do an educational research no matter they like or dislike, no matter they  are good or not!

            Immediately, after having been assigned to make up group for next doing the assigned researching, I was falling in a blinded hole. I did not know where should I go for to slide myself in? I have my close friends that maybe only I have known about it by my own side conclusion and my own understanding. Therefore, I with my own understanding that working with my best friend is better decided to go where my best friend standing to ask for join in her group included other 3-4 genius friends. Fortunately, there still left a place for an unwanted and not talented person like me! I was really appreciated for her welcoming me to join her group.

            Then, we arranged for first meeting to consult for our topic to study, and to assigned each one’s work to complete. There was nothing happened during the first meeting. In the end of the meeting, all people were smile on each own faces. Everything was happy!

            Unfortunately in the second meeting I didn’t come because of my not interest in technology or any social network. This was my fault for not recharging my hand phone and not checking on facebook , a well known social network, and I admitted my fault with no doubt. However, this seemed a big problem to them. I knew about this depressing and painful matter on the next morning like I had told above that I hadn’t known before. One of my friends who also a part of this group and didn’t come to the second meeting too called me on the next morning that I was on the topic that they were posting all night. All the posts posted on the facebook came straightly through my eyes into my mind, next moved to my heart, and then left a large hold of painful and depressed inside of mine. They blamed me and accused me as an irresponsible person.  

            Yes! I knew it was my fault for not going there to be with them, but please be reasonable!! I didn’t mean to miss the meeting! And my assigned work already had been done. However, I also understood why they get mad at me. It was they were afraid I was not completing my responsibility’s work.  But, the most of painful thing was about my best friend. I didn’t expect to know that she also get mad at me. My only best friend of best friends, who I had always understand that she would be the only one who I could trust in and rely on, but she was not! It really broke my small red heart into pieces. My tears broke down like flood, like the unstoppable heavy rain falling from the dark sky among the windstorm.

            So, in the morning class I with feeling guilty to them all in my workgroup didn’t know how to react to them especially my best friend. I felt having to do something like saying an apology’s word, but it seemed like they didn’t look at me even a glimpse of their eyes, especially my best friend! How feeling hurt of my heart it was. I love and mind about her feeling very much! And all about her actions and reactions to me even a little bit are always in my attention since we became friend until now. Even though she has already changed or not but it’s never disappeared and changed from me. She still is my only best of friends and my only beloved friend forever.

            Without you beside me, how much I miss you! Have you ever known?

            Without you beside me, how much I’m lonely! Have you ever realized?

            Without you beside me, how much I’m depressed! Have you ever thought?

            Without you beside me, how much I’m concerned of you! Have you ever felt?

            Come back please! My old lovely friend! Only you I’m thinking of!