Notice: my knowledge in the area of literary scholar is never earned in the university. Formality is impossible.
My comments would never be intended to ruin your reputations. All is from the opinions of MrPoseidonSon. Provided these feel you uncomfortable, I express my apologies hereby.
The plot was begun with a rich girl named Emma Russell cursed by Laura Emma grandpas ex-girl. On her 17th anniversary, the curse was being run and stopped her entire peaceful life. She was involved with three transparence protectors that one of them took her breath away. A feeling started, a relationship grew while the devil and obstacle were slowly creeping. How could this girl fight? The questions you should find the answers by yourselves.
The third paragraph Page 1, I earnestly recommend to adjust form from Past Present to Past Continuous to see the dimension of Emma and Mathews action. While the one was doing, the one did.
While I was walking around the hall with a glass of fruit punch in my hand, Mathew held the other hand.
The sample shows ones action continuously and an action stops doing but the result appears still.
Or you can avoid confusing by using conjunction in frame of and which I dont suggest because it will change a little bit illustration.
I walked around the hall with a glass of fruit punch in my hand and Mathew held the other hand.
he was the hottest guy in school. => he was the hottest guy in the school.,
I was one of the most popular girls in school. => I was one of the most popular girls in the school.
You just forgot put Article in Superlative Degree.
I respect the writer stuffing Emmas thought to keep hers till the time comes. Many men always need that but when they get married with the others, the most he needs from them is a virgin - does not make sense the most teenagers nowadays do not always stand up for the right things, they can say what they are likely meant to be and should not deplore after happening, because they are too worth. So this hopefully pulls sharply all girls to where they should be.
I am bound to phrase Vote Me from a movie Adjustment Bureau; however Vote for me is correct.
I suggest all English novels for Thais should define some vocabularies which expects most people never know or technical terms, like encapsulated or anthropoids. I never catch the sight of encapsulated before but I am just wondering this should be Prefix and absolutely it cannot be found in English Thai dictionary, for those who dont have Longman, Cambridge or Oxford will be in the dark.
American where I think settled down cultures are strongly different from us like, Prom, if you do would like to make readers crystal clear, I am begging you to have an appendage.
By the way, I am thinking about the suitable place, when we mention about the curse, England is the site bobbing up but your style is American. This is just self-contradictory, not affected to the novel taste.
I conceive what you mean On Emmas birthday is she is begging her dad in advance for weeks to have Party?
I stand now on inexplicable pedestal due to you applied the word Bugging which I dont truly understand, if this is an idiom, I am requesting what I am stating in 12th indention of the writing but if not, I doubt you may put wrong word.
I saw Daughter of James Russell two times in close lines.
the daughter of James Russell who was the president of a software company.
Emma Russell, the one and only daughter of James Russell.
This is not wrong or unacceptable, but if you need make your novel feel like academic with fun, you try avoiding reiterating in the way same meaning direction.
A Comma will be used in many ways, but if you stop to magnify something as below. It will be put way like this.
Original One: Mathew, who always looked good in a tuxedo walked to me from the crowd.
Correct First: Mathew, always looked good in a tuxedo, walked to me from the crowd.
Correct Second: Mathew who always looked good in a tuxedo walked to me from the crowd.
It is called Subordinate Clause.
I am not sure about Smile At and Smile Back To we can use both because I never see Smile Back To.
This is super talented when you have tons of cake but still shape.
What Emma saw last night is the black shadow? I feel completely awe. But when the things were revealed, it changed previous cite turned to be fully funny. I admit your emotionally convinced techniques.
Out of seriousness, if I were Em, How come I would not scare, they are paranormal.
3 Chapters were gone; they are telling me that I could finish working on this, just because your tastefulness ran this writing perfectly. Seems I am reading unremarkable novel of academic book prize. It is really appreciate.
This is really a little bit shocked when it is said her familys still stuck the curse if members could not find the Charm, so this is the reason why her mother has passed away. By the way, the plot should be about the investigation for the Charm with the three transparences favor as I guess. I am running on this to see what will be. (Finally I still dont know the way to find the other charms).
Sorry for rude, If I were Emma again, I would say Damn It! What A Surprise Present.
Writer suits timing to the shot, when it comes to English which is not used to being for most persons, it can take them to be jerk when not native English writer is not good but this is opposite. To exemplify especially, the scene of Emma was come after by soul eaters, it is really frightful, everything happens to her too fast to compose myself and I think so do other readers. I am gloating over your riches.
The soul eaters remind me of Dementor.
I couldnt find the reason why you wrote I said irritated (irritatedly, irritably), from my point of view, I only know how to use adverb provide the manner or circumstances of the activity denoted by the verb or verb phrase. So there is any more usable regulations, please share yours to me.
Pointless, Lucas tried to see something under the cover, I bet, be careful, missy.
As my insolent thought, if someday, they fall in love each others, and he only gets full moon to transform, it will be a month to do something; I mean kiss, hug, or touch. Its so hard for Patrick, Deadly Serious.
In conclusion,
This is not the word I should express well in academic matter; here is a feeling to this material.
Exactly to take me by surprising is this work essentially contains the correct structures, even if some of them made me confused, it may because from my superficial knowledge of English.
I never read English things written by Thai. Even though there are many printed matters, I still am not interested in. when I saw her invitation to be critic, what first coming was how dare this girl was, and I would raise the criticisms as her requests.
But How
when it turns
My overall view of this time changes my thought forever. It turns me to think bigger for being the brave if you are bold enough; you are able to do everything. This novel is really great that I could say. I hardly ever believe that I am reading the story written by Thai. Idioms, words, and sentences are extremely picked and chosen to deeply touch the sensitive readers to the way its needs as well as the tone and continuity are magical, pulls them follow the characters confronting the situations, which convinced me author is the one in many who can make people turn the pages, laugh, fear and mood with invariable things inside. Although it is stylistically ordinary or imaginatively derivative, It is readable and a useful prose.
The one and only I could say support her will not let you down.
Because The Curse of Laura is carrying you to another dimension (Find Someone to Protect You)
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